


Broken Through

by yusahana6323



Category: the GazettE
Genre: Angst, Dialogue Heavy, Explicit Sexual Content, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-03
Updated: 2016-10-22
Packaged: 2018-05-04 16:22:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 28,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5340623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yusahana6323/pseuds/yusahana6323
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aoi had teased for so long, but he decided it was time. He would make sure Reita knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, how he felt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

    "Hey Rei," Aoi said as the blonde opened the back door and set his bag on the seat. "Ready to go?"

    "Yeah, guess so. It's been a long time since they just sent us to do things ourselves. In a car, no less."

    "It'll be kind of nice though, right?" he asked as Reita climbed into the front seat. "Just like hanging out."

    Reita smiled his sunny smile, his dark eyes lighting up in the warmth. "Something like that."

    "Off to Osaka?"

    "To Osaka."

    They talked for a little while as Aoi manipulated his car through the busy, winding streets of the city. Aoi let Reita plug his iPod into the car and control what they listened to, and eventually, they fell quiet and there was no speaking. The darker one was fine with that. It was a bit of a drive, and he couldn't expect they'd have too much to talk about this early in the day. The quiet was fine. After all these years, he was more than comfortable with it.

    What he did do, though, was gaze at Reita every now and then, or more often, letting his eyes run over the bassist's slim but strong frame. He could appreciate the tighter jeans that Reita had been wearing lately, as opposite to the baggier ones, the form-fitting shirt and jacket. Reita's legs were slightly splayed, supporting his sharp wrists as he held his iPad. His high cheekbones, the normally-hidden nose, and full lips, in profile were soft, but at the same time masculine. Aoi traced the line of his neck and shoulders, his arms, chest, stomach, hips...

    "If you get tired," Reita said, looking up now, "I can take over for awhile."

    "We'll see how it goes," Aoi replied with a smile, turning back to look out the windshield again. "It's fortunately not too long of a drive. But maybe halfway there, we could switch."

    "Do you mind if I sleep until then?"

    "No, go ahead, sleepyhead."

    Reita laughed a bit and pushed his seat back a bit, settling down. "Wake me up when we stop."

    "Will do."

    He watched out of the corner of his eye as Reita folded his arms over his chest, leaned his head back, and within a few minutes, had drifted off. Aoi smiled to himself and looked back out the front, turning down the music a bit. When he'd heard he and Reita would be going to do this radio show alone, with no manager or staff, deep inside of him had celebrated. There were always too many people around, for him. A few years ago, he'd been alright with that. But lately, he'd gotten sick of it. He wanted the personal time and space. His fondness for the bassist had grown a lot, and he'd admit that it was maybe a bit too much. He could imagine that Reita would return it, though. He was shy, but he just needed a bit of urging. Aoi had learned that much watching Reita with the others. If he took the first step, Reita would fall into place.

    He let Reita sleep the entire way through, too absorbed in his thoughts to feel like waking the blonde. Reita woke on his own though, when they were not too far from their destination. Aoi heard the small groaning sigh, and the sound prickled down his neck to his hips. Reita rubbed his eyes, yawning.

    "Where are we?"

    "Probably about an hour off. Sleep well?"

    "Yeah, it was good. I should be able to stay awake for the show."

    "That's a good plan, I'd hate to have to keep kicking you awake."

    "You would," Reita grumbled.

    "Of course I would."

    "Do you ever think about not picking on me?"

    "Oh, sometimes. But we have too much fun for me to want to stop." Aoi shot him a grin, and got one in return.

    "Asshole."

    "You'd like mine."

    "What the hell..."

    Aoi laughed, turning back to the road. "Sorry."

    "Don't go too far, Mr. I'm-Not-Gay."

    "Fine, fine. And there's no need to bring that up."

    At least Reita was still grinning. It made Aoi feel a bit more relaxed. They were still joking when he pulled into the hotel parking lot, and as they checked in. As they stepped out of the elevator on their floor, Reita said, "There's another one we haven't had in awhile."

    "Roommates. You think it's just one bed?"

    "God no, I'll sleep in the hallway." Though he said it as if in disgust, Reita was grinning.

    "Aww, but Reita, we could cuddle," Aoi crooned as they arrived at their door. "After you."

    He followed Reita into the considerable room. The large double beds were right next to each other, no space in between them. Reita had already tossed his bag onto the bed nearest the door, tucked just behind the corner. Aoi put his bag on the other bed and stretched his arms.

    "So, what should we do?" he asked as Reita pulled his phone out of his pocket. "We have a few hours before we'd need to start checking back in with the staff and getting ready to go."

    "Let's go eat and shop, I guess. I want to go get those snacks for my sister and mother that they like."

    "Again? You're such a good guy."

    "I try."

    A small smile was on his face. Aoi tilted his head just slightly, taking in the warm expression. Reita was, despite how he would appear onstage or sound in interviews, an incredibly gentle man. He'd forgo his own wants and go far out of his way to take care of people close to him. Aoi had been the recipient of that, as had the entire band, and he knew of Reita's attachment to his family. It was the main thing Aoi really liked about him. Many people he knew were good people, but he didn't know many that were as naturally other-minded as Reita was.

    "Sure, let me wash my face and we'll go find something to eat. Let Uruha know we got here safely."

    "I don't know what you're talking about," Reita chuckled as Aoi passed him to go into the large bathroom.

    "Of course not. He would never give you a second thought."

    Aoi said it jokingly, but honestly he was irritated by Uruha and Reita's closeness a lot of the time. It was understandable of course. They'd been friends for over twenty years, and almost all of that they'd been best friends, always planning to never be without each other. But he felt it interfered sometimes. Didn't anyone else get a chance to be close? Even girlfriends never seemed to take the place one had for the other. Aoi wanted to kick Uruha off his pedestal and take it over. He'd tried to do it for Reita's place in Uruha's eyes, but the guitarist had proven to be, though flirty and all-pleasing, a lot more resistant to outing Reita. He had always played along on stage, but had never given to teasing offstage. Reita, on the other hand, was always yielding. It would be easier with the blonde.

    "He wants us to bring back some stuff for him too," Reita said when Aoi emerged from the bathroom, drying his face. "Those potato chips he really likes."

    "Oh? No alcohol?"

    "I don't take him alcohol." Reita put his phone back in his pockets, feeling all of them. Aoi watched the strong hands and long fingers patting down his legs and ass, checking to make sure his wallet was in place, and took the few seconds to admire the sight. "Ready?"

    "Sure, let's go."

    Aoi tried his luck, just to test the waters, as they were out. He nudged and teased Reita like he usually did, threw innuendo at him, tried a few touches. As always, the bassist laughed and shrugged it off. He didn't move away at all when, out in the street markets, Aoi pressed close and nudged him again - he didn't even seem to pay that much attention. Even better. When they dropped their purchases in the trunk to head back to the hotel, Aoi was fully confident in himself.

    They called their manager, who gave them instructions and tips and advice and promised to stay in touch all through the interview, changed clothes, and then headed to the radio station. The interview was fine enough - it was fun to talk with the host, and joke around with Reita, but Aoi's thoughts were fixed somewhere other than the topics. He kept outlining Reita's frame, imagining it freely. Reita was used to him staring and watching - it was part of the game Aoi had been playing for years. He played with nudging Reita's foot and knee with his own too, satisfied when Reita didn't react, just simply moved out of the way.

    "Seriously, will you ever stop bullying me?" Reita joked as they were leaving the studio after the show.

    "Probably not."

    "Give me some space, man."

    "No such thing as space between us now."

    "Geez, guess not."

    "Let's go get some dinner and then shack up for the night. What do you want?"

    "Udon is fine, there's that spot we went to last time..."

    Aoi eased up while they were at dinner. He wanted Reita to feel comfortable when he talked with him later tonight. If he felt too bullied, he'd probably clamp up, even if it was something he was used to. So he kept the physical pushing to himself, so they just talked as normal over their noodles. He watched Reita's mouth closely when the blonde was slurping up his udon, relishing the sounds, the sight of the soft-looking mouth sucking strongly. An internal shiver ran through him more than once, like it had every time he had given Reita a subtle once-over today. Why so much pleasure...? Because he had Reita all to himself tonight.

    "Do you mind if I shower first?" he asked when they got back to the hotel.

    "Go ahead. Are you going to use the bath?"

    "Wasn't planning on it, do you want me to start filling it up when I'm done?"

    "If you would. I actually feel like taking a short one tonight."

    "Sure thing, blondie." Aoi saluted before he went into the bathroom. He took his time, enjoying the warmth of the shower, thinking distantly as the water drove against him. When he'd finished, he turned it into the tub to let it start filling and began drying himself. Reita was sitting on his bed, watching TV when he emerged, towel around his waist. The amber eyes turned up to him as he approached.

    "My turn?"

    "Your turn. Don't take too long, though," Aoi added as he edged past the blonde. "We have stuff we need to talk about."

    "Do we?"

    "Don't we always?"

    "I guess that's true." Reita stood up, stretched, and went into the bathroom. Aoi smiled a bit to himself and got partially dressed, leaving his torso bare so he could enjoy the cool of the rainy weather drifting through the opened window. He lay back on his bed, watching the program on the TV and texting some friends aimlessly, until he heard the bathroom door unlock. Then he pushed himself to his feet and went to the window, closing and locking it quietly at the same time the door opened. Turning around, Reita was coming out, blonde hair dripping, rolling the towel around his waist.

    "Good bath?" Aoi asked.

    "It was nice."

    "Can we sit down?"

    The bassist gave him a slightly confused look now. "Wait, you want to talk now?"

    "Yeah. It's a personal thing, I really just want to get it out of the way."

    "Uh... sure." Slowly Reita sat down on the bed, still with an expression of confusion. Aoi sat down right next to him, giving him a warm smile.

    "Don't look like that."

    "I'm just surprised, I guess."

    Aoi didn't reply, just watched Reita's face for another few moments.

    "What is it?"

    "It's important to say first that... I really admire you, you know? You're such a fantastic person." Aoi saw the bewilderment fade a bit. "You're such a good, strong, gentle man, Reita. I love that."

    "Thanks, Aoi. Though you're making me more nervous," Reita added with a small chuckle. "What's this for?"

    "I needed to tell you."

    "What?"

    "That I love you."

    A bit of quiet. Reita's normally slim eyes had widened.

    "Aoi...?"

    "I know it probably sounds crazy, right? But I do. Honestly."

    "You do mean like... friends?"

    "No, Reita. I want to kiss you deep and hold you close. I want you to be mine. I love you."

    Slowly now, the bassist shook his head. "I'm sorry, Aoi."

    The guitarist stared, a bit hurt. "What?"

    "I don't feel that way about you, Aoi. I do love you, a lot. You're like an older brother to me. But I don't see you as any more than that. I don't think I can." Reita smiled at him. Aoi supposed it was meant to be comforting, but it looked more like a pitying sneer. "But thank you, for letting me know how much I mean to you. I'm always here for you, you know?"

    "What do you mean, you can't love me like that? Of course you can."

    "I don't think so, Aoi."

    "You can!"

    The blonde didn't say anything to his sharp half-shout for a few moments. When he did speak, all he said was, "I'm sorry."

    Aoi looked away, one hand clenching in the covers. His whole body stung with the rejection. That wasn't fair. Reita was supposed to accept it.

    "I'm sorry, Aoi. I am. You're a great guy. You'll find the right person. But it's not me."

    He stood and went to the window, shoving his hands into his pockets angrily.

    "I'm here for anything else though, Aoi. You're still important to me, and I still care about you a lot."

    Aoi slowly looked over his shoulder to see Reita still smiling that irritating smile. The blonde then slid to his knees, turning away as he unzipped his bag. The dark guitarist stood, watching for a moment, his emotions swirling darkly. A few ideas were pounding at his mind, and as his gaze traced down Reita's strong back and saw the muscles working in his shoulders, he seized onto one of those ideas. He quietly and swiftly unbuckled his belt and pulled it out of the loops, and then made his way to Reita with silent steps. His heart was pounding hard, pumping with adrenaline. He'd make Reita understand how much he loved him. Then he'd have no choice but to return it.

    He grabbed the bassist's elbows, hauling him to his feet. Reita yelped, trying to turn, but Aoi slammed him face down on the bed. It was a momentary struggle for his arms, but then Aoi managed to grab Reita's wrists and used them to twist his arms behind his back. Reita cried out again, still trying to fight him, as he viciously lashed his belt around the bassist's sharp wrists, binding them tightly.

    "Aoi, knock it off! Get off me!"

    Reita was trying to push at him with his bound hands, kicking a bit, but Aoi held his ground. He forced his way between Reita's legs, leaning one knee up onto the bed to pin his friend down. He pulled the belt as tight as he could, until it didn't budge when he tried tugging it the other way.

    "Stop it! Aoi, let me go!" Reita shouted, twisting a bit.

    "No, baby," Aoi said softly, taking one of Reita's hands in his own and holding it, ignoring how they tried to push him away. He leaned up and licked Reita's ear softly, watching the amber eyes. "You don't understand."

    "What the fuck don't I understand? Get off me!"

    "You don't understand what I'm saying. But I'll show you now."

    Terror crossed Reita's face now. Why? Aoi smiled and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

    "Get off!" Reita snapped again.

    "I think you're denying yourself," Aoi purred, tracing his tongue over Reita's ear again. He let one hand run up the strong arm, fingertips savouring each line on its journey. "I think you're just afraid to love me back."

    "No, get off, Aoi!"

    "I love hearing you call my name, Reita babe."

    "Stop it. Let me go, now!"

    "No." He slid his hand between Reita and the bed, his fingers finding their way to their destination. Reita moaned as he twisted the peak, his body jolting a bit. "See, you love it."

    "Please, Aoi. Please." His tone was fading from angry to begging. "Let me go. I don't like this. It's not funny, this is just cruel."

    "I'm not trying to be funny." Aoi kept caressing the nipple, loving how he felt it perk. He kissed Reita's shoulder now, staring into the widened brown eyes. "I'm being very, very serious."

    "Please stop it."

    "How can I? I love you, and your body is loving this. It's reacting so quickly." Reita's body was strong, tensing under the affections. Aoi pressed his groin into the lower back, against the rolled towel that was becoming loose. "When was the last time you had some, pet?"

    "No, please, Aoi, you don't have to do this." Reita tried to struggle again, but Aoi pressed him back down.

    "I do have to do this. I have to show you. Then you'll understand your own feelings."

    "No, I don't love you, Aoi, please don't do this...!"

    "It's okay, Rei. You don't have to be afraid."

    "Get the fuck off me!"

    Reita's thrashing did throw him off this time, and now Aoi was angry. Why was he making this so difficult? He grabbed Reita by the nape of the neck, hauling him to his feet, and slammed him into the wall. Reita let out a sharp cry, body going stiff with pain before relaxing a bit.

    "Aoi -"

    "You're so much trouble sometimes," Aoi growled, holding Reita's head against the wall.

    "Please, stop! I don't want this!"

    "You do, though. Oh, look at that," he purred, noticing the towel slipping, resisting more at the front. "Are you getting hard, babe?"

    "No, I'm not, I'm not...!"

    Aoi pulled the towel away with his free hand and then reached around front, cupping Reita. The blonde whimpered, hips jerking a bit. The guitarist squeezed his partner's manhood, eliciting another vocal response.

    "You are. You're getting hard for me."

    "No, no, I'm not... I'm not..."

    "What's this, then?" He squeezed it lightly again, beginning to pump it. Reita's back arched a bit.

    "Stop!"

    "But you like it. Don't you feel how your body's reacting?"

    "Please -"

    Aoi slammed his head into the wall again as he tried to move it, and he froze up, bound hands clenching against Aoi's stomach. Aoi dragged his tongue along the strong shoulder as he kept working, and Reita's whole body shuddered.

    "There you go. You love it."

    "No..."

    "Getting hard as I tie you up and touch you."

    "No, Aoi... stop, please... I don't want this, don't rape me..."

    "Rape? This isn't rape, baby. This is foreplay."

    "Please stop." Reita was full-out begging now as he turning his head to look at Aoi. Masculine pride was gone. Aoi loved hearing Reita give to him. "Please don't do this."

    "You look scared, Reita,” Aoi said, licking his shoulder and gripping him tighter, earning an injured moan. "Don't be."

    "Don't do this, Aoi, this is rape. Please stop, I won't tell anyone."

    "What would you tell them?" Aoi asked, nibbling on the edge of his ear. Reita sniffled again, his eyes screwing shut as Aoi worked him a bit harder and simultaneously began grinding against his bare ass.

    "That... that you raped me..."

    "Do you think they'll believe you?"

    "Of course they will!"

    "You know you were saying the other day you needed sex so bad you'd take anyone," Aoi said, massaging the head and gaining a whimpering moan.

    "I... I was kidding...!"

    "Will they think that if you say we had sex?"

    "This isn't sex!"

    "It is, sweetheart. I want it, you want it."

    "I don't -"

    "Your body says differently. No one will believe you if you say it's rape."

    "U-Uruha will believe me!"

    "Uruha? Oh, Reita..." Of course he would make this argument, but Aoi had already thought of this. He let go of the stiffening member and trailed his hand slowly up Reita's lower stomach, caressing him, pushing his blonde head harder against the wall as he wriggled. "Reita, Uruha doesn't want you anymore. He's so tired of you hanging around."

    The bassist's body froze up again, and Reita whispered, "You're lying..."

    "You hold him back. He told me he wishes he hadn't promised he'd stay with you. He wants to move on. When I told him I was going to tell you I love you and sleep with you, he practically begged me to go through with it. He'll take any excuse he can to leave you behind."

    "No... he doesn't. He's my best friend! He wouldn't do that to me!"

    "He did. Anything to get away from you."

    A tear slipped free from Reita's eye, and his voice was almost a whimper now. "You're lying..."

    "I'm not, babe. I'm sorry." Aoi played with Reita's nipple again, feeling triumph in seeing Reita take his words to heart. Even if he didn't believe it straight away, doubt was enough. "You can tell him if you want, but he's not going to believe you. He hasn't for awhile."

    "Stop..." Reita pushed weakly at him again, arms barely able to move from their position. "Please stop, Aoi..."

    "You want it so bad though." Aoi leaned his head forward, kissing at Reita's mouth. The blonde turned away again and let out a dry sob. "Your legs are shaking."

    "Stop, please, Aoi..."

    Aoi moved his free hand, dropping it to his pants. He pulled at them, managing to undo the button and zipper and push them down. He ground against Reita's ass again, grabbing one side and kneading it tightly.

    "Aoi!"

    "Such a beautiful voice. I want to hear you cry my name some more."

    "Stop, stop it, I don't want this, don't do this to me, I haven't done anything!"

    "You don't have to do anything, babe. I'll do it all."

    "No, Aoi...!"

    He was free now, and he worked himself to get to full attention. Reita was whimpering, halfheartedly struggling, but would stop when Aoi pressed on his head harder. The guitarist laid his erection against Reita's ass, loving the shiver that seized the lean, strong body he held at the touch.

    "Feel how much I want you?"

    "Stop..."

    "You're still so warm from your bath." Aoi moved his hips, rocking his cock back and forth against Reita. "I bet you're all softened up from it too."

    "Aoi, please..." Reita's hands grabbed for him, fingers scrabbling against his head. Aoi bit his lip, groaning.

    "God, that feels good, babe. Touch me some more."

    "Stop, please stop..."

    "You want to play with my cock, Rei?"

    "No, please stop!" He fought strongly again, and now Aoi slammed his whole body up against the wall, ignoring the strangled cry of pain. He was flush against Reita's naked body now, his manhood twitching hungrily against his partner's hips.

    "Get off!" Reita choked, still trying to fight.

    "No, cutie." Aoi bit his shoulder now, smashing his head into the wall again. With his other hand, he guided the tip of his erection between Reita's globes to his clenched entrance, sighing a bit as it quivered against him. "God, you already feel good."

    "Aoi, stop!"

    "Ready for me to go inside?"

    "Stop!"

    "I guess I should lube you up a bit." Aoi let go and spit into his hand, rubbing it along his length and the tight entrance. He did a couple rounds before he felt it was wet enough for him to get in. He pulled Reita's hips out a bit, pushing his face down the wall so his back was arched, and held the bassist in place as he tried to move. "Look at that gorgeous hole, ready to swallow me."

    "Aoi, please, I'll do anything, I won't tell anyone, I swear I'll do anything, please just let me go!"

    "Reita, I love you baby," he purred, putting his now-wet tip to the entrance and, with some difficulty, pushing it inside. He couldn't bite back the groan of pleasure as he made it into Reita's ass, feeling the tight heat. Reita screamed, body tensing.

    "Stop! It hurts, Aoi, stop it!"

    "Shh, Rei baby. It won't hurt for long. Just relax and loosen up and it'll feel good." God, Reita felt incredible. So tight and hot, even just barely in. Aoi had to close his eyes, enjoying it and trying hard to not climax just from this.

    "Stop, please." Reita was crying now, body heaving with the sobs. "Please, Aoi..."

    "Oh, babe, you're feeling so good your legs are shaking." Reita was quaking so hard Aoi thought he'd probably give out. With another groan, he pulled out of Reita's ass and then yanked him, shoving him face-first down onto the bed. He let his hands take their former positions - one on the back of Reita's head, keeping it pushed against the mattress, the other to his length. With a low croon of, "I'm coming in again," he thrust back inside, sliding deeper this time, and Reita screamed again, his voice muffled to hushed in the covers. Aoi arched himself, loving the friction on his erection. So much stimulation...! He was already pounding. "God, you're so good."

    "Please stop," Reita pleaded, voice desperate, writhing a bit as Aoi pushed in deeper. "Please, Aoi, please...!"

    Now that he was far enough in he knew he wouldn't come out, Aoi grabbed one of Reita's cheeks, pulling it open so he could watch himself force further in. It was tight still, but he kept at it slowly, growling at the friction and the heat and the squeeze.

    "Shit, Reita. Your ass is delicious."

    "Aoi... please..."

    The guitarist let out a gravelly moan as the tightness eased and gave way to a smooth velvetiness. He was all the way inside now, Reita squeezing him tightly.

    "Babe, you're beautiful."

    Reita didn't say anything, just wailed into the covers. Aoi moved his hand from the gold crown to one of Reita's broad, strong shoulders, squeezing it lightly.

    "How does it feel?" he crooned, leaning over a bit to whisper in Reita's ear. "Me inside you?"

    The blonde was shaking hard, face buried in the covers, and didn't respond to him. Aoi licked his ear lightly, teasing him.

    "You feel so good. You're so tight and hot, squeezing me so tightly... your ass is massaging me, can you feel that?" Reita's hips were squeezing him rhythmically, swallowing him as he asked it. "You're really loving this."

    "No," Reita sobbed now. "Please get out..."

    "On, don't pretend you don't like it." Aoi was on a high. He was inside Reita, the blonde yielding to him, body fully embracing him with its smooth heat. He kissed Reita's shoulder softly, still massaging the other one. "Your hips are clenching me."

    "I don't want this! Please get out of me, Aoi, please stop, it hurts..."

    "It might hurt right now, but it will feel good soon, I promise."

    "No, please... I'll tell them, I'll tell them you raped me..."

    "Reita, do you have a rape kink? Is that what you want to think this is?"

    Only a whimper in response.

    "This isn't rape. I love you. I'm making love to you. Here, I'll start now."

    "No!" Reita pushed at him again, struggling to move his arms. "Don't!"

    Aoi kissed his ear, then straightened up. Still holding to Reita's shoulder, to pin him down and to use as support, he gently pulled back, almost all the way out, and then drove back in. Reita screamed, his head snapping back, so Aoi pushed him down to muffle him. He kept slow for a bit, moving softly in and out, and then he couldn't take it anymore. It felt too damn good to stay slow. He let himself go faster, rhythmically thrusting. He was panting, enjoying the work, enjoying feeling the friction and Reita's hips reacting to him sliding in the velvety heat.

    "You're amazing, babe," Aoi told him, forcing all the way inside and grinding against him, earning a sharp whining scream. "Holding me so tightly..."

    He didn't get an argument or response anymore. Reita lay without moving, except to push at him with his bound hands, or digging his head further into the covers. Aoi could hear the moans and sobs, though, see the blonde’s back arching a bit and feel his toes curl against the floor.

    "Does it feel good?" He went back to pounding, and a few particular strokes made Reita's body shudder, seize, his voice leave him in a heavy groan. "Oh, that felt good, did it?" He tried fucking it harder and was rewarded with louder responses, tighter squeezes, violent arching. The extra tightness made him go crazy. "Shit...!" Aoi went harder into it, faster, craving Reita's returns. "There you go, babe... there's your spot, hm? How's that?"

    Reita weakly pushed at him, struggling a bit as he moaned and shuddered. His weak resistance made the sickening pleasure in Aoi's stomach harder to fight back. He didn't want to cum yet. It was hard, but he made himself pull out of Reita's ass. He ground his length lightly against Reita's cheeks, enjoying the softer friction even if the loss of heat was terrible. He was streaked with bright red, which he smeared on Reita's skin with his movements. The blonde was gasping, body shuddering with deep breath.

    "Do you miss it?" Aoi asked, grabbing Reita's ass with one hand and kneading it. "My cock fucking you?"

    A whimper, his hands clenching into fists.

    "It's okay, babe. I'll give it back to you soon. I just don't want to cum yet." Aoi moved his hand to the stretched entrance, tracing it with his fingertips. "But you want more, so I'll give it to you." He thrust two fingers straight in, and Reita yelped sharply, tightening around his knuckles. "How's that, hm?" He curled his fingers and kept pumping, caressing Reita's insides. "Is that good?"

    "Stop... please, please, I'll do anything..." He was begging desperately, hands pulling at the restraints so hard Aoi could see the muscles in his arms. "Anything! Please, just stop!"

    "Stop? No, baby, I can't stop showing you how much I love you." Aoi added a third finger, shivering at the blonde's whimpering moan. "God, your voice. I love it. Scream some more with pleasure, Reita baby." He drove his fingers mercilessly into Reita's ass, eliciting screams that he forced into the covers. "So good, isn't it? Me splitting you with my fingers and cock. You love it, don't you? We can go all night."

    "Please no..."

    "Reita, I love you," Aoi crooned, spreading his fingers wide as he kept jamming them as deep as he could. "I love you, babe."

    "No, Aoi..."

    "I love your warm brown eyes and your cute nose and your smile. I love your strong body. I love how your hips swallow me up as I fuck you."

    Reita went back to sobbing brokenly, burying his face in the covers. One leg moved to kick weakly, but it couldn't reach Aoi. The dark guitarist smiled and grabbed it instead, pushing it up onto the bed.

    "You don't need to try to change position yourself. Just tell me, babe." It raised Reita's hips a bit, so Aoi could drive his fingers deeper."You like that, hm? I'll pleasure you, Rei." He pulled his hand out, made a duck bill with his hand, and, with some effort, ignoring Reita's vocal pleads again, shoved his whole hand up to the palm into the entrance. Reita's cry was amazing, but loud, so once again he took control and crushed the blonde's face back into the covers to silence him. "Liking that?"

    "Please... please, please..."

    Aoi didn't spend too long with his whole hand in Reita's ass - he didn't want to stretch it out too much - but feeling the bassist still squeezing softly was a turn on. He could take anything, it seemed, and that made the gravity and heat in his stomach intensify. When he pulled his hand out, he watched Reita's body shudder and heave, almost seeing the shivers of pleasure run down the strong spine. Aoi smiled and leaned over, dragging his tongue up his friend's back and shoulder, tasting his sweat and essence.

    "Feeling good?"

    No response at all. Reita lay motionless.

    "Are you getting tired, babe?" Aoi asked, straightening up. He licked some of the blood drying on his hand, mouth watering at the taste. Reita's blood, full of pleasure. "I'll let you finish soon, okay?"

    He slapped one of Reita's thighs lightly before moving away, going into the bathroom and picking up a washcloth. Reita had collapsed to the ground when he came back out, and that irked him a bit. He grabbed the bassist by the throat, hauling him up. Reita gasped, body seizing at the sudden lack of air.

    "I'm not done with you yet, Rei babe," Aoi growled, throwing him back onto the bed and rolling him onto his back. Reita didn't resist, but lay still, head to the side, blonde hair streaming over his eyes. "Oh, baby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rough." He stroked his fingertips over Reita's strong neck, tracing his Adam's apple and down his collar and chest. He played with the dusky nipples, leaning over and sucking on one. Reita's body reacted, trembling a bit. "There you go. That feels good, right? Your cock is twitching." He moved his hand and smoothed his thumb up Reita's erection, which was dripping and twitching hard at his touch. "Look at that. You're so wet. Ready to cum?"

    No verbal response, but he could feel the tension. Aoi smiled and licked Reita's nipple again before he sat back. He opened Reita's mouth with no difficulty and stuffed the washcloth in. He ran his hands down the bassist's body, tracing over the muscles, the slim stomach, rippling over the smooth skin.

    "You're beautiful, Reita," Aoi crooned, massaging down his thighs, seeing him twitch a bit. "Every bit of you. And you're so glorious beneath me... I can't wait to see you from the front, too." Just to make it easier, he scooped some of Reita’s precum and rubbed it onto himself before he grabbed behind Reita's knees and pushed them to his chest, raising his hips and bringing his worked entrance into view. Aoi kissed and licked at the inside of one of Reita's slim thighs, watching his partner. A few tears slipped down Reita's cheeks, and he said, "Oh pet, don't cry. It's okay. I love you." He put himself back in now, groaning as he was reintroduced to the smooth warmth. Reita was gripping him again, pulling him deeper inside. Aoi panted as he rested for a moment, simply enjoying the sensation of Reita wrapped around him. The new position put him at a new angle, right against the prostate.

    "I love you, Rei. That's why I'll make you feel good." Without warning, Aoi began thrusting quickly, straight into Reita's spot. The blonde arched, crying out, muffled by the cloth stuffed in his mouth. But his body was tensing, chest moving deeply, as his hips tightened. "Go ahead and cum, baby. I won't be too far behind." It was too damn hot to see Reita reacting like this, rushing to climax, to be able to stay behind for too long. Aoi went harder, as deep as he could, body reverberating with each strike against Reita. The blonde's toes were curling, his legs tensing beneath Aoi's fingers, and then suddenly he arched hard, screaming, his amber eyes squeezed shut. His body closed up, clenching to an excruciating pleasurable tightness, and he came, spurting thick white cum down his own stomach and chest. Aoi moaned, hungrily watching Reita cum, relishing the feel of the blonde sucking him in. The feeling was like nothing Aoi had ever had before... feeling and seeing his partner cum like this. Reita went limp, breathing so hard his whole body was wracked. Aoi was pounding to cum too... he wanted to cum in this strong body, this normally quiet man who screamed when Aoi made love to him.

    "That was fucking hot, Reita." Aoi began thrusting again, letting himself go without restrain and hammering Reita's ass with all his strength. "Shit... I want to cum with you too..."

    Reita stared up at him with clouded eyes, and Aoi fastened his gaze on them, losing himself in the amber depths as he sped up, fucking Reita so hard the bed was creaking loudly. Reita was beautiful, so responsive, so enjoyable...

    "I love you, Rei. God, your body is amazing, just as much as anything else about you... shit...!"

    A sharp pang shot through him, and he felt himself reaching his peak. His precum was leaking, lubricating Reita's tight, pulsing depths, making it easier to fuck. Aoi was breathing hard, getting heady and high as he lost himself, and it was only a few moments before he let out a sharp cry as his stomach contracted and he began shooting into Reita's tight ass, his body seeming to concentrate down so he could pour everything into Reita.

    "Shit... Reita... Reita...!"

    HIs head fell back as the last pulse faded, and he let out a deep, raw groan, feeling everything so intensely - connected to Reita, his heat and pulse and breathing, swallowing Aoi's body. Slowly, Aoi looked down at Reita and gave him a soft smile. He pulled the gag out of Reita's mouth before leaning down and kissing his unresponsive mouth.

    "It was amazing, babe. You're amazing in bed, just as much as you are as a person. I love you, Rei."

    Reita swallowed and turned his head away. Aoi let go of one of Reita's legs and moved his hand to stroke through the gold hair softly as he nuzzled the bassist's jaw.

    "You don't need to be ashamed, Reita. There's nothing wrong with us making love. It's all okay."

    Reita’s response was a tiny, barely-audible sniffle. Aoi kissed and sucked at Reita's neck, trying to enjoy feeling himself deep inside as long as he could. The cream he'd released added yet another stimulating texture to Reita's body. Aoi didn't want to ever leave.

    "Do you want to go again?"

    Reita violently shook his head now, breath speeding up.

    "You're right, it's probably better to let you rest a bit after our first time. I took your virginity back here, didn't I?"

    The blonde swallowed hard again, his eyes growing luminous.

    "Oh, baby, it's okay. I'm glad it was for me." Aoi kissed the corner of Reita's cracked, dry lips again. "Don't cry."

    Reita did, though, whimpering as the tears fell. Aoi brushed his lips over the blonde's eyes, kissing away the tears.

    "It's okay. We both enjoyed it. I'm glad you loved it as much as I did. I'm glad I made you feel good, Reita babe. You're amazing, you know. You're all for me. All mine."

    "I-I want... to s-s-sleep now..." Reita whispered hoarsely. "Please..."

    "Okay, love." Fair enough. Aoi slowly pulled out of Reita, sighing at the loss of heat and tightness and texture. Reita's body would need the rest. "We'll do it again tomorrow, okay? We can enjoy more together."

    The bassist didn't say anything to that. He looked exhausted. Aoi smiled widely and let him go, rolling him onto his stomach. He carefully untied Reita's hands and rubbed his wrists gently. Reita flinched as he did so, recoiling a bit.

    "I'm glad we had this amazing night together, Reita," Aoi told him, feeling incredibly triumphant. Reita was his. Reita would always be his now. No matter what happened, Reita wouldn't be able to forget this, so Aoi would always own a part of him. "Sleep and rest up, okay? We have a long drive tomorrow." He turned Reita's head back with his blood-streaked hand and kissed the cracked lips tenderly. "Goodnight."

    "G-Goodnight..."

    Aoi lingered for another few minutes, caressing Reita gently, before he rolled over to 'his' bed and slipped beneath the covers. He watched the bassist's frame, his bare back and the tense muscles, the gold hair streaming across the covers. His body felt heavy and exhausted, and was tingling pleasantly. Aoi had cum harder than he could remember. But Reita deserved it. That lean, strong body that had given way to him had deserved it. Aoi drifted off to sleep, his last sight of Reita, his thoughts following him into the dreams.


	2. Chapter 2

    Uruha waited nervously for Reita to come the door. He was afraid Reita wouldn't answer. He knew how his best friend could get when he was upset, but this had been going on for weeks now. The blonde had become almost silent, not contacting anyone. Not even friends outside the band had heard from him, when Uruha asked them. No one had. If Reita hadn't come to practise, it might have seemed he had disappeared off the earth. When he was at practise, he was pale, and though he wore a smile, he was quiet, preferring to stay on his own, edging away from anyone who got close. It wasn’t like him at all. Uruha clenched his fists in his pockets as he thought about it. He needed to make sure Reita was okay. He just hoped that Reita was alright enough to let him in.

    It was a long wait, but then the door opened, and Reita, dressed in baggy jeans and a hoodie, the hood of which was pulled up, looked out at him. He’d had dark circles under his eyes for awhile now, but this close, they seemed worse than Uruha remembered. And those eyes, unlike their usual warm, shining amber colour, were dull and dark. His normal smile was gone. His expression was blank as it had ever been in the last few weeks, if not more so. Uruha knew that he probably had been pushing himself to look okay when he was with the others, but now there was no hint of even that.

    "Hey," Uruha said, managing a smile out of relief in spite of his worry mounting a bit. "Can I come in for a bit?"

    A pause, but then Reita smiled - a very forced smile, Uruha could see - and replied quietly, "Sure. Come in."

    The guitarist followed his friend into the apartment. It was dark inside, the only light coming from the kitchen. The blinds of the living room windows weren't drawn, though, so he could see out into the rainy street. Oscar and Keiji were climbing on their cage, cheeping happily as Uruha approached.

    "Hey cuties." He could see they had food and water, and their cage was clean, so at the very least Reita was taking care of them, if not himself. Uruha smiled as Keiji hopped off the cage and flew to him, perching on his shoulder. "Are you taking care of daddy?"

     Keiji whistled at him. Reita's smile was faint, but it was still there as he murmured, "They're trying."

    "Good." Uruha nuzzled the bird, then gently plucked it off his shoulder and put it back to play with Oscar. "Can I talk with you, Rei?"

    Another pause, another dead look, but then the blonde whispered, his voice very hoarse, "Sure."

    "Can we sit down?"

    "Go ahead."

    He stayed standing, hands limp in the pockets of his hoodie. Uruha sat and waited, then, when Reita showed no sign of joining him, urged, "Come sit with me."

    Reita seemed to balk at the idea, but slowly, he sank down on the other end of the sofa, as far away from Uruha as possible. The brunette's worry increased as he watched the ginger movement to sit down, and as the blonde's normally strong body went limp when he had settled.

    "I'm really worried about you," Uruha told him after an awkward moment of silence. "You haven't been well at all the last three weeks or so."

    "I've been sick."

    "I mean more than that though.”

    “No, that’s all.”

    “Come on, Rei. You know that I know how you are when you're upset. You're upset about something. Won't you talk to me about it? We've always been there for each other before, that hasn't changed."

    Something lit in Reita's eyes, but it wasn't comforting at all. The rest of him still stared deadly back, unmoving.

    "Please," Uruha pleaded. "I'm sick with worry. You haven't been yourself at all. You don't respond to my messages, or to anyone else. You're quiet and withdrawn. You don't go out and do things with us. You haven't been out of your apartment at all in weeks, except to come to the studio. You look like you aren't eating, and you look like you haven't been sleeping. You're not taking care of yourself."

    "I'm just... I’m sick."

    "Reita, please.” Uruha wracked his mind to think of what might have caused this. Thinking back to about the time it had started, he tried, “Did something happen while you and Aoi were in Osaka?"

    He caught it - a flash of some expression crossed the blonde’s face and was almost immediately smothered. Uruha felt his chest tighten a bit. Aoi hadn’t mentioned anything happening. It must have happened to Reita alone.

    "That’s it. Please, Reita, talk to me. Don't make me worry like this."

    “There’s nothing.”

    “Reita, please.”

    “Nothing…”

    “There can’t be nothing, not when you’re like this.”

    A pause before Reita, looking a bit tortured, whispered, "I can't..."

    So there _was_ something. Uruha tried to calm himself down. He couldn't force Reita into it. He had to be gentle. Reita was stubborn, but he was also obviously scared. Uruha couldn't let his feelings get in the way. As comfortingly as he could, he said, "You can, Rei. You can talk to me about anything. I'm here for you. I have been all these years. There's nothing you could say that would change that."

    “You wouldn’t.”

    “Yes I would. I’ve always been here. I’m not going anywhere.”

    Reita shook his head, turning away.

    “You can trust me. I want nothing more than to help you.”

    “You don’t.”

    “I do. You could tell me anything and it wouldn’t make me want to be here any less.”

    "It would."

    "No, I promise. There's no way. Reita," Uruha added as Reita bowed his head, blonde hair falling over his face. He wished Reita would know that! He should know it beyond doubt already. What had caused this? "Reita. Come on. Seriously, this isn't the way you are at all. You've never been like this, ever. Not after a fight, not after a breakup... you've never refused to talk to me. That means it's bad, and that worries me. I want to help you. Please."

    He tried his best to coax it out of his friend, whose physical signs of denial became less and less until he was just staring down at his hands again. Uruha felt frustrated. What did he have to do?

    "Hey, Akira," he tried gently, and he saw the body twitch at the name he didn't use often anymore. "I just want to help you. That's all. I care about you, okay? You're my best friend. You're probably the most important person in the world to me. You know that."

    As he was finishing saying that, Uruha noticed only then that Reita was shaking. He was pale. He was still staring through the floor as if he couldn't hear, but he was afraid of something, looking as if he were just trying to block everything out and keep it from getting to him.

    "I want to help you," the guitarist continued. "I just need you to tell me what you need help with, okay?"

    No reply, and, tired, Uruha decided to wait for a bit. It was quiet, the only sound of the rain and the birds' whistling and squawking as they tumbled and played. Then Reita took a shaky breath, and Uruha saw a tear slid down his cheek, dripping off his chin. His heart almost stopped. Reita was crying. One of his worst nightmares was seeing Reita cry again. He had never wanted to see it, not for anything. The fact that the bassist was so hurt that he was crying just about made Uruha break down, but he forced himself stay strong, only because Reita needed it.

    "Hey," he said, moving a bit closer. Reita didn't seem to notice. "It's okay. What's wrong?"

    Silence, then another tear, and another, followed by one more deep, shaky breath, but no words.

    “You can tell me. I’m here. I’ll listen. I always have, I always will.” Uruha hoped his voice wasn’t shaking and betraying the tears he himself was holding back. “Always.”

    “No…”

    “It’s okay, Reita. It’s okay. Tell me.”

    Reita sat, just breathing unevenly, for awhile before he whimpered, "He...... he....."

    "Who?”

    It visibly took effort for Reita to answer, his voice somehow even quieter, “Aoi.”

    It did have something to do with Aoi? What could Aoi have done? Uruha felt sick. “Aoi?”

    "He....." A dry sob, and Reita shook his head. "I can't..."

    "You can, Rei. I'm right here. I'm listening. I'm not going to push you away." Even if this did involve Aoi.

    "I can't." The blonde's voice was halfway between pleading and hysterical. Tears were rolling down his face quickly, tossed free when Reita shook his head hard enough that Uruha had a momentary panic that he would hurt himself. "I can't!"

    "Hey, hey. Shh." Tentatively, Uruha put a hand on his shoulder to try to steady him, startled when the blonde jumped almost a foot in the air. "It's okay. I'm here. Take a few breaths okay? Everything's fine."

    To his relief, his friend did try to take in some air, choking a bit and breathing hard. Uruha rubbed his shoulder softly, hoping he was comforting, until Reita was breathing a bit normally even though tears were still flowing down his cheeks. Uruha tried again, but as gentle as he could manage, with his voice trembling, "This is hurting you, Reita. It will be easier if you tell me. I swear I won't say a word to anyone else. Just get some of the weight off your chest. You can tell me anything, and I'll still be here at your side. Okay?"

    Reita didn't respond verbally, but the guitarist could feel the struggle tensing his friend's body, coming out in broken gasps of breath and more and more tears. He was considering what else to do when Reita's hoarse voice spoke.

    "A-Ao...." A loud swallow, and Uruha squeezed his shoulder softly to encourage him. "He... h-he....." He took another deep breath, and then it came out, very raw and very forced. "R-r... r-...r-raped me..."

    Uruha's mind went blank. He stared at Reita, wordless. He didn't think he was breathing, either. It took a good few minutes before his brain processed the word. His mind choked on it, but once he managed to get it down, he felt his heart aching like he'd never felt before, as if it were being ripped. Aoi had done such a terrible thing... and to Reita...?

    "No," he whispered.

    Reita visibly withdrew, slumping further back into the sofa, huddling into his clothes. Uruha saw the tears coming faster now. "You don't believe me."

    "No, no," Uruha said quickly, realising what Reita might have heard. "No, I believe you, Rei, I just..." It _was_ hard to believe. Aoi had always been teasing Reita and playfully bullying him, but Uruha never would have thought he'd do something like that. But when Reita was this obviously distraught, Uruha had to believe him. "God, Rei!"

    "I'm - I'm not lying. I'm not...!"

    "I don't think you are. I believe you."

    Uruha reached out, wanting to comfort him, and Reita shuddered again. At that rejection, Uruha felt guilt overwhelm him. Why hadn't he suspected it? Or guessed it? It seemed so obvious now! His mind replayed the times the band had been together over the past couple of weeks, and now he saw clearly Reita’s face when Aoi had gotten near him or touched him, the momentary bits of panic or pain, how he had tried to pull back or edge away. Reita had always seemed a bit fainter after coming in contact with the other guitarist. And who could blame him now!

    He slid off the couch and knelt on the floor in front of the blonde, carefully putting a hand on one of the knees. Reita quivered, and now Uruha could see the wide, tearfilled eyes partially hidden behind blonde bangs.

    "Reita, look at me."

    Slowly, the gaze rose to him, and it showed pure terror. He really thought Uruha was going to abandon him. It almost pushed Uruha over the edge. Reita was a sensitive person, and he'd seen Reita in low places, but never like this, never this scared, never trembling at any touch. Uruha tried to smile, though his already-bleeding heart was breaking with grief and rage.

    "I'm so sorry. Rei, I'm so sorry this happened. You don't deserve it."

    "No?"

    "No, of course not."

    Reita shook his head, dropping it onto his chest again. Uruha kept his hand on Reita's knee, trying to reassure his friend that he was there.

    "It isn't your fault, Reita."

    "I should have fought, or pushed him away."

    "No, no. It wasn't your fault. You didn't want it."

    "I should have."

    Uruha was quiet, watching Reita's hands clench and shake. He squeezed the bassist's knee and repeated, "It wasn't your fault."

    "Uru..."

    "I'm here."

    "Uru..." It was a whimper, a plead, one like he'd never heard before or thought he would ever hear from this usually-strong and steady man. "Uru..."

    "I'm here. It's okay."

    Reita sat up straighter, his shaking getting noticeably more violent. Uruha stayed in place, not wanting to scare him. Slowly, the blonde leaned closer, cringing a bit as if he was afraid Uruha would hurt him. The brunette didn’t move until Reita's arms were around his shoulders. Then he returned the embrace, clutching Reita close, as if doing so would protect him from the memories and the trauma. He couldn't keep his tears back now as he felt and heard Reita crying into his shoulder. He bit his tongue hard to keep his sobs to himself, but there was no stopping the streams down his face.

    "It's okay," he choked, holding tightly to his friend. "I'm here now. You're not alone, I'm here. I'm here, Reita."

    "Uruha...!"

    He rubbed Reita's shoulders and back softly, stopping when he felt the cringe of fear. It seemed a long time before Reita's voice broke, and he was silent and trembling. He was still clinging to Uruha with all his strength, fingers twisted into the material of his shirt as if frightened he'd be abandoned. Uruha had to swallow his emotions back several times before he was able to speak again.

    "I'm here now. I believe you. I'm here for you, okay? I'm always here for you."

    "I'm afraid."

    That admission broke his heart again. He held his friend tighter, if that was possible. "It's okay. I'm here. You're safe now."

    "Don't leave me alone."

    "I'll stay here if you want me to. I'll stay and keep you safe."

    "Uruha!"

    "It's okay. I'm here."

    Uruha said it over and over, trying to soothe him, until he felt Reita's body slowly relax and go back to almost limp. Then, feeling how stiff with dried tears his face was, he tried gently, "Have you seen a doctor, Rei?"

    The blonde shook his head slightly.

    "You need to. You might be hurt." As he said it, he remembered how gingerly Reita had been moving, especially sitting and standing. "Oh, shit, Reita, you _are_ hurt, aren't you?"

    "I don't... I don't want to..."

    "I know, but you need to. You're hurt."

    "No."

    "Reita, please." Uruha was ready to just start sobbing. He wanted to fix it. He wanted to make it right. This shouldn't have happened to Reita, of all people! Not his Reita. "Please, it will get worse. You need some help. I'll go with you. I'll stay with you every second. The doctors won't say you're lying. They'll see you're hurt. They'll believe you. Please."

    The blonde stiffened a bit, but his arms tightened around Uruha. The brunette buried his face in the bassist's shoulder, swallowing back the sobs again.

    "Reita, please. I don't want to lose you. I don't want you to hurt as much as you are."

    "You'll stay with me...?"

    "Yes, I'll stay. I'll be there with you."

    "Will you stay tonight?"

    "Of course I will." Uruha hadn't even thought of leaving. "I'm here for you, whatever you need."

    "Okay."

    "Can I take you to the hospital? Please?"

    A long pause, but then Reita whispered, "Okay."

    Relief filled Uruha, and he almost fainted from it. "Thank you, Reita. Let's go right now, okay? Let's go."

    "Okay."

    "I'll put the birds back in their cage and we'll go."

    "Okay."

    But he didn't let go of Uruha, and the guitarist was loathe to pull him off. Gently, he loosened Reita's arms, and then the blonde let them fall, sinking back into the sofa. Uruha scooped up the two birds and put them back in the cage, got his bag, and then said, "I'll drive. Come on, Rei."

    No sign he had heard. The blank unresponsiveness scared him. Usually Reita was so attentive. He crouched down and touched his friend's knee again, and then the eyes blinked and turned to him.

    "Let's go."

    A slow nod, and then carefully, with a wince, Reita pushed himself to his feet. Uruha waited, staying right by him as they went to the genkan and got their shoes on, as they left the apartment and went down to where he was parked. Reita didn't seem to notice the pounding rain - he just slouched lower and huddled more into himself, slumping against the window when they were in the car.

    "Are you okay?" Uruha asked as he started it. No response, and he couldn't see Reita's eyes - the blonde locks of hair were plastered over them. "Rei, I won't make you talk about it any more, but I'm here to listen if you want to, okay?"

    Still no answer. Uruha was quiet for a bit, chewing on his lip as he tried to sort his emotions out a bit. He honestly was still incredibly shocked. He felt angry and betrayed. Aoi, doing this sort of thing! He'd known his guitar partner had a dark side, but he never would have thought Aoi would go that far. He'd always backed away when Uruha had rejected him. Why would he do this to Reita? He clutched the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles turning ghostly white.

    "And you can know," he said suddenly as a wave of anger almost blinded him, "I'll fucking kill him for you." He thought he saw, out of the very corner of his eye, a small shift, Reita raise his head just a bit. He repeated, "I swear to God, I'll kill him!"

    He was glad the hospital was so close, because he was sure that his driving might have become dangerous if it was much further. He kept Reita's slow pace, shoulder-to-shoulder with him, as they went in. He explained for his friend, who looked terrified to answer the front nurse's questions. Even then, his heart sank. It had been so long since Reita had last hidden behind him. He couldn't bear seeing his normally reliable, strong, optimistic friend like this.

    "Is there any way I can stay with him?" Uruha asked as a last request. "He's really... he's not doing very well."

    Uruha worried that they would deny it, and he'd have to fight, but they easily acquiesced, sending sympathetic and worried glances to the blonde huddled behind him before giving him the paperwork and a clipboard. Reita, thankfully, took it with a trembling hand and filled it out as needed without a single word, his head still down, eyes dead. Uruha turned it in, not wanting to make him stand, and then returned to his side.

    "It's okay," he murmured to the bassist consolingly, touching his knee again. "I'll be right here."

    Quiet, and then slowly, Reita raised his hand and, with his wrist, pushed Uruha's hand away.

    "Rei -"

    "Don't."

    "Okay. Whatever you need." Though he didn't like it.

    To his bitter disappointment (and further anger), Reita stayed distant from him through the exam. If Uruha tried to comfort or encourage him, he was pushed away. When the doctor asked what had caused the injuries, and Reita clammed up, Uruha was clenching his hands in his lap to keep himself from punching a wall. He ended up telling the story, fighting to keep himself calm, because Reita froze when pressed for an answer. When Reita undressed (with a lot of coaxing) for an exam, the sight of the faded, but still present, bruises and tears and swelling, too, and how thin Reita had become, made him sick with anger. Even more were the scabbing scratches he saw all along his friend's body - fine, thin scratches, like he had scrubbed himself viciously.

    "How are you eating, Suzuki?" Dr. Takada asked as Reita finished pulling his clothes back on. Takada, bless his soul!, had been incredibly gentle and understanding with Reita, offering bits of advice throughout the visit. Though Uruha had been fairly certain Takada, who had been their regular doctor for years, wouldn’t turn Reita away, he was still glad his promise hadn't been broken. Even so, Reita had acted distrustful of the doctor, and even now the blonde took a long time fidgeting with his hoodie's zipper before he replied.

    "I'm not really."

    "I understand you probably don't feel like you can, but you need to try. Even juice or soup will help, at least for a few days. You need to eat so your body can heal."

    "Okay," Reita whispered.

    "Takashima," Takada said, looking his way now. "Will you help him?"

    "Of course."

    "Make sure he eats. Plenty of liquids. Hot baths and painkillers, if he needs it. If he's careful, he'll be healed up in a week or two, he's done very well so far. We'll make an appointment for him to come back next week, and if he's still hurting then, let us know."

    "Yes sir."

    "We'll do tests at that point. If you need anything else before then, Suzuki, come back in. We're here to help you."

    "Thank you," was the faint response.

    "Go home, eat, rest. You'll be okay."

    "Thank you," Uruha echoed as they left the office.

    "Watch after him. He looks like he needs someone with him."

    "I'll be sure to."

    Reita shied away from his touch again as they left, huddling against the door as they drove away. Uruha said, "Thank you for coming, Rei. I'm glad you aren't seriously hurt. But you have to eat, okay? You were almost fainting earlier at practise today."

    He knew now to not expect a response, so it didn't bother him as much when he didn't get one. The birds chirped loudly when they re-entered the apartment, and Reita wandered to them, letting them out. As Uruha set his bag down on the floor next to the leather sofa, he watched Keiji hop onto Reita's hand. The bassist silently stroked the yellow and grey feathers, pulling his hand close to his chest so the cockatiel snuggled up to his chin.

    "Rei?" he tried quietly after a few minutes. The blonde twitched a bit. "I'll make something for you to eat. Do you want to take a bath?"

    He hadn’t expected the reaction he got – Reita almost immediately toppled and started scrambling backwards, eyes wide, not seeming to notice Keiji’s screeching at being basically thrown aside. Uruha immediately backpedalled as fast as he could, apologising, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m sorry, Rei. You don’t have to. No bath, there won’t be one.”

    Reita had backed himself into a wall now and was pressed hard up against it, trembling and staring at Uruha as if the guitarist were a monster. Uruha held his hands up and took a few steps back, heart pounding hard as he tried to figure out what he had said wrong. Something about the bath? Had Aoi… his heart went through the floor. Even though it seemed like Reita might have been scrubbing himself viciously, he was simultaneously terrified of bathing. He had been going through all this… Uruha couldn’t stand it.

    “I’m sorry. I won’t bring it up again. I’ll just make something for dinner.”

    He hurried into the kitchen, holding back an undignified sob, so that Reita wouldn’t have to see him or fear him. He leaned against the counter, taking a few deep, shaking breaths. Hatred and grief like this were emotions he wasn't familiar with. He had never really hated anyone. Disliked strongly, maybe. He might have thought he'd hated, but now he knew this was the first time he'd truly felt it. He hated Aoi, for betraying his trust, Reita's trust, everyone's trust. He hated Aoi for taking advantage of Reita's gentle nature. He hated Aoi for raping Reita like this, and hurting him so badly he still had trouble walking. He hated Aoi for breaking Reita, so the blonde didn't even feel like he could ask for help, so that the blonde cried because he thought no one would be on his side, not even Uruha, who had been right there with him for more than two-thirds of their life!

    But Uruha was angry at himself too. He wished he had done so many things differently. There were so many things he could have done to prevent this, or to catch it earlier and reassure Reita. He could have done so many things to not take so long and make Reita feel so alone. He hated himself too, for not catching on, for putting his best friend behind other, stupider, less important things. Reita should have been the most important thing. If he had been, Uruha would have caught it as soon as it happened.

    He suddenly noticed footsteps out in the living room, and he paused to listen. He heard them go past the kitchen, down the hall, and then the bathroom door closed. He took a few extra breaths, steadying himself before he turned to making something easy for his friend to eat.

    He heard the door open and Reita's footsteps returning just as he was finishing the soup. He went out into the living room to see his friend slumped into the couch, towel pulled over his head. Uruha stood for a few moments, debating with himself, before he slowly approached his friend, asking, "Hey, feeling better?" He carefully put his hands on Reita's head, bore the jump and flinch, and softly began ruffling the towel through the blonde hair. He watched for the reaction, and Reita was stiff for a couple seconds, then slowly relaxed before Uruha decided to pull back. A bit relieved, he continued, "The soup will be done in just a minute. That should be easy enough for you right? Just a bowlful, that's all I'll ask of you tonight."

    "... Uru..."

    "Hm?" he asked, grateful to hear the blonde’s voice again.

    "He..."

    "I'm listening, Rei."

    A hesitation, Reita physically withdrawing a bit. Then he whispered, "He said you didn't want me around."

    Uruha felt another hot stab of anger at Aoi. "That's not true. It isn't. I'm right here with you. He's a liar. I've never wanted you to leave my life. That's why you're still my best friend after all these years. Okay?"

    "He said you asked him to."

    He stopped drying Reita's hair, a bit blank with shock. It took him a few seconds to ask, "He said what?"

    "He... he said you... asked him to... so that you had a reason to not see me anymore..."

    "That son of a -" He stopped himself, forced himself to calm down before speaking again. "It isn't true, Reita. I wouldn't be here if it was. I promise. Okay?"

    "Promise?"

    His voice sounded like he was afraid to be hopeful. Uruha crouched down now, to Reita's eye level, looking at him seriously as he confirmed, "I promise. You don't have to believe anything he told you."

    "He said no one would believe me."

    "I do."

    "No one would care."

    "I do."

    Reita's lip trembled a bit. Carefully, Uruha pulled him into a hug, rewarded with the strong arms wrapping around him in response. Overwhelmed with how Reita was willingly allowing him to comfort, Uruha whispered, trying to keep his voice strong still, "I care. I believe you. I'm here to listen and help you, okay? Don't believe a thing he said."

    "Will anyone else believe me?"

    Uruha didn't know. He couldn't think that Ruki or Kai, or their staff, would listen to Aoi, but he didn't know anything for certain. He had gotten lucky with the doctor, but he didn’t want to push his luck. He squeezed Reita softly and told him, "I hope so. Even if they don't, I do."

    Reita made a small noise in his throat.

    "I know it's not enough, but I'll be here. No matter what. I promise."

    "Thank you."

    It was a tiny whisper, but he heard it, and hugged Reita tighter. He didn’t want to let go of the once-strong form, now thin with depression, that he had in his arms.

    "I'm here." Gently he pulled back and looked into Reita's worried, exhausted eyes. "I'll get you some soup. You'll drink it, right?"

    Slowly, Reita nodded, arms still resting on Uruha's shoulders. He couldn't help but smile, for comfort, but also out of relief that Reita had opened to him and wasn’t pushing him away.

    "Good. I'll bring it to you. Just rest."

    Reita still seemed a bit hesitant when Uruha brought him the bowl, but he sipped at it, holding it in both shaking hands. Uruha sat by him, watching carefully. It took awhile - there were long pauses in between swallows, when Reita's eyes stared straight forward out the window at the rain - but at long last he finished, vegetables and everything, and lowered the bowl to his lap.

    "Do you want more?" Uruha asked.

    "No."

    "That's fine. Thank you." He carefully lifted the dish out of Reita's grasp. "I'll go put this in the sink."

    "No."

    Uruha sat back, putting the dish on the floor instead. "Okay."

    Reita's hands twisted in his lap again, shaking. Uruha watched, then looked at Reita's face, which was drawn and stressed, and reminded him, "You don't have to talk about it if you're not ready yet."

    "You'll listen, right?"

    "Of course I will."

    "You'll believe me, right?"

    "Absolutely."

    Reita's gaze fell for a bit, and Uruha watched his hands twist and fidget with his clothes some more. He waited patiently as he could, aching to know but afraid to hear at the same time.

    "After the interview," Reita said slowly, still looking down at his lap, "we went to dinner, and then back to the hotel. I had a bath, and when I came out, he sat down with me. He said he needed to talk to me about something. And he said... he said he loves me. I turned him down, he started insisting and getting angry, and then he stopped and left the bed. I started going through my bag to get my clothes, and..."

    He shivered into quiet. Uruha felt a lump in his throat, but he reminded Reita again, "It's okay. No pressure at all, Rei."

    It was another few minutes before he spoke again, his voice shaking. "He grabbed me from behind and... I tried to fight and pull away, but he got me by surprise and... he bound my hands behind my back... and then..."

    One of Uruha's hands was clenching in the sofa cushions as he tried to keep himself steady while he listened.

    "He told me that... you didn't want me anymore, you were tired of me... he said no one would believe that I didn't want it... because I... I reacted and..."

    "Shh, it's okay," Uruha tried to say comfortingly when Reita choked a bit. “It’s okay, Reita.”

    Reita fell silent, hands wringing his shirt. Uruha's fingers were going numb from holding to the cushion so tightly. There was a long quiet, interrupted only by the stifled whimpering breaths Reita was making, trying to not sob.

    "I-it hurt..." Reita whispered after some time. "And... he..." He dropped his head, but Uruha still saw the tears slide down his cheeks and fall into his lap. "He... i-inside...!"

    He hadn't thought it would be possible to want to kill Aoi more than he already did, but hearing that last bit gave him the hundredth kick-start of the evening. Uruha was surprised he was containing his rage. How dare Aoi do this...!

    "He s-said... he was glad I enj-joyed it and... we'd do it again s-sometime... and he untied me and went t-to sleep..." Reita raised his hands, digging his palms into his eyes. "I couldn't sleep... I can't s-sleep...!"

    "It's okay, Reita. It's okay." He grabbed one of the bassist’s hands so he wouldn’t injure himself, and Reita let him, still talking as if he hadn’t heard Uruha.

    "I showered a-again... I tried to get c-clean and get him all off m-me, but... no matter how I scrub... I'm still dirty from it, even n-now..."

    So he _had_ been scrubbing himself, enough to rub himself raw and scratch himself. Uruha couldn't even imagine feeling that way. He said to his friend, "You're not, Rei. It wasn't your fault. Look at me?"

    A hesitation, but then Reita raised his head, looking at Uruha with almost pleading eyes.

    "It isn't your fault," Uruha told him again, in as strong a voice as he could. "You didn't do anything wrong. You couldn't control what happened. You aren't to blame. Aoi is."

    "I could have f-fought..."

    "Your hands were tied and you were scared. You did the best you could. It wasn't your fault, Reita."

    The bassist's gaze dropped again. Uruha coaxed his body into letting his fist go, and when he somehow managed it, he moved a bit closer, slowly. To his relief, Reita didn't shy away again. Uruha moved his non-numb hand from Reita's wrist to his knee again, trying to not startle or scare him.

    "It wasn't your fault, okay? You didn't want it. He tied you down and raped you, and that's not your fault. You tried to fight him off. You asked him to stop. Don't blame yourself. He's the one to blame." It was getting hard to keep calm so he could try to convince Reita to be calm too. Uruha felt hysterical. Half of him wanted to hug Reita and never let him go, and the other half wanted to go beat Aoi to death. Neither were good options, not right now. "It's not your fault, Reita. You didn't deserve that."

    Reita looked at him again, that same lost, but begging, expression on his face. Combined with how exhausted he looked, how malnourished and frightened, he seemed absolutely at the end of his rope.

    "You didn't deserve it," Uruha repeated. "It wasn't your fault. And I believe that."

    "You believe me...?"

    "One hundred percent. I know you're not lying to me. I don't see why anyone wouldn't trust you."

    "Because I got hard and came," Reita replied, his tone slightly bitter now.

    "That's not your fault either. It doesn't mean you wanted it. You know hard-ons come no matter whether you want them or not. That doesn't mean anything, Reita."

    "You're lying."

    "I'm not. I don't think you came because you wanted him to do that to you, Rei. I know your body was just reacting the way it knew how. With..." He kept himself from saying the words. "... it would be almost impossible to not react. If you had wanted it, you wouldn't be this upset. Okay? Don't try and tell yourself otherwise."

    Reita just looked at him for a long time, his lower lip trembling just a bit. Uruha reached out and, ignoring the thoughts he’d had just moments ago, pulled the blonde into a hug again, clutching him tightly.

    "It wasn't your fault. I know that. I believe you. You're the most important person in the world to me, Reita. I'll believe you over that self-serving bastard any day."

    "Uru..."

    "I'll protect you. I won't let him touch you again." Uruha felt his grip tighten. "I'll keep you safe, Reita."

    Reita held to him, burying his face in his shoulder, and Uruha felt the tears once more. He couldn't blame his friend at all. This had to be trying, and he was exhausted and weak.

    "You're so strong," he whispered. "You are, Rei. You're strong for bearing it. It's so hard, I can see how hard it is for you. But you don't have to do it alone anymore. I'm here. I'll help you."

    The bassist didn't say anything for a long time, and Uruha was okay with that. He simply embraced his friend, trying to be a solid comfort. After awhile, Reita whispered, "Maybe I'll be able to sleep tonight."

    "That would be good. You need some sleep."

    "If you're here."

    "I'll be here. All night."

    "Will you stay like this?"

    Uruha hesitated, but only for a moment. "Of course I will, if you think that will help."

    Reita nodded into his shoulder. "Please."

    "Okay, Reirei. I will."

    "Thank you."

    "Not at all." Uruha slowly let go of him, checking his phone. "It's getting late now, so maybe we should just turn in."

    "Alright."

    "I need to use the bathroom. If you put the birds away for the night, I'll meet you in your room, okay?"

    Reita nodded again, rubbing his eyes with his palms again. Uruha gave him a smile, though he could feel that shaking with suppressed tears too.

    "Okay. Lock up and I'll be right there."

    He waited just to make sure Reita was alright, and once his friend got off the couch, he did too, going into the bathroom and closing the door. He splashed his face with cold water, rubbing away the stiff trails of his tears until he felt they were gone. Then he stared at himself in the mirror, at his red-rimmed eyes and bleeding lip. He didn't like crying, but this was something he couldn't help but do just that over.

    "You're okay," he told himself. "You can help him. You're what he needs." Repeating that to himself a few times, he finished and exited into the dark hallway. The only light he saw was from Reita's room, so he padded there and knocked lightly on the door that was slightly ajar, calling, "Rei?"

    "I’m here."

    Entering, Uruha saw Reita sitting on the very edge of his bed, hands fisted in his lap, still fully dressed. He shut the door behind himself and said gently, "Not changing?"

    Reita shook his head.

    "That's fine. Do you want me to stay on the futon?"

    He shook his head again.

    "Okay." Uruha approached the bed, circling to the other side. Pulling the covers up, he slipped in, settling down. "I'm here, if you want me to stay."

    Reita didn't move or turn to look at him for awhile, and Uruha stifled the urge to try to touch him. He could only reach Reita's lower back and hips, and that was definitely not a place to be touching right now.

    "Rei, come get some sleep. You need it."

    "Can we keep the lights on?" the blonde asked after a few moments.

    "If you want to."

    A pause, and then Reita slid under the covers too, curling up in a ball on his side, still facing away. Uruha gave him a few minutes before he edged closer, close enough to lay his cheek against Reita's shoulder. The blonde jumped, but didn't pull away, and didn't move at all when the other carefully draped an arm over his side.

    "I'm here," Uruha assured him for the thousandth time, uncaring of how it might sound or how often he'd said it. Reita needed it. "I won't let anything happen to you."

    "Thank you," he heard faintly.

    "So you can sleep tonight. I'm right here."


	3. Chapter 3

    Uruha stayed awake as long as he could, just listening to Reita's breathing, to the tiny sobs that he tried to hide that shook his thin body. He hoped that Reita would fall asleep, but from last he remembered before he drifted off, the blonde was still awake. When he woke in the morning, though, blinked away the fog and remembered where he was, his head was still pillowed against Reita's shoulder blade, arm around his waist. One of Reita's hands was holding his in place, and he could feel and hear the blonde breathing slowly and easily. Uruha didn't dare move for fear of waking or startling him, but he did think that Reita was asleep, sleeping peacefully even, and the relief of that thought washed through him. There was no sign of thrashing or tossing to suggest nightmares.

    "Thank God," Uruha whispered to his sleeping friend. "You need some rest."

    In the quiet, and now that he'd had some sleep and time to wrap his head around what he had learned, Uruha started thinking about what he could do to help. He wouldn't mind staying with Reita as much as he could, if the elder wanted him to. He hoped Reita would, because Uruha was a bit scared of leaving him alone now. Aoi could always come by and hurt Reita again, or if Reita got upset enough (Uruha prayed this wouldn't happen, but he had no way of knowing), he could hurt himself. He would have to leave at some point though, there was no way he could stay all the time. There was work, and they were split up sometimes.

    And work. Uruha felt a bit faint as he realised what Reita must have been going through every day they had been all in the studio together, how well he had hidden it. He had visibly shied a bit from Aoi and looked very sick, but otherwise he had smiled his way through it, never letting on how much he was suffering. Uruha tightened his arm a bit around his friend. He didn't want to make Reita see Aoi again, but there was no way around that, either. He was sorely tempted to call Ruki and Kai and let them know, but it was Reita's decision for now who knew and who didn't. If there was no escalation, Uruha would leave it be and let Reita take his time. 

    So what could he do? He supposed he could ask that Reita and Aoi not be sent to do things alone together. He couldn't figure out for the life of him why it had been so this last time. He could let Reita come over to his side in the studio, so he wasn't as close to Aoi. Rooming together was a request he could make. Uruha really just wished he could kill Aoi and get rid of him forever, and then Reita wouldn't have to be afraid or reopen wounds. He was sorely tempted to do so, but he knew he couldn't. That would just get him in trouble, and even if Aoi was gone, Uruha didn't want to leave Reita on his own.

    Uruha would confront Aoi about it. He was angry enough to do so, and to try to warn his guitar partner off Reita. No more bullying, playful or not, no more advances, no more torturing. Aoi could just leave Reita alone, or Uruha would start biting back.

    Reita shifted, and Uruha broke out of his thoughts to pay attention to his friend. He felt the breathing pick up, the hand over his tighten.

    "Rei," he said softly. "It's me, Uruha. It's okay."

    A few moments, and then he felt the thin frame relax a bit.

    "It's okay. You don't need to worry. I'm right here," he continued, just in case. "I stayed right here, just like I promised."

    "Uru...?"

    "I'm here."

    Slowly, Reita rolled over. Uruha lifted his head, but didn't move his arm, so it was still resting around his friend when he settled again. It was a bit of an awkward position, Reita's knees pressed against his so his torso was twisted. His arms rested between their chests, as if he was ready to push Uruha away, which the brunette guessed was very possible. He managed a small smile.

    "Hey. How did you sleep?"

    Reita's eyes stared at him dully for a few seconds before he replied, "I did."

    "Good, I'm glad you did. You're already looking a bit better."

    "Uru...?"

    "Yeah?"

    "I'm afraid."

    "You don't need to be."

    "I'm afraid you'll leave and won't come back."

    Uruha ached to comfort Reita the way he wanted to. But instead, he said, "You don't need to be afraid of that either."

    "I am, though."

    "You don't need to."

    "Why?"

    Uruha looked into those deadened eyes. He could see the desperation in them. Why not? Reita probably was afraid to trust anyone, even him. One of their closest friends had betrayed Reita and broken his trust. Not only that, that friend had lied and said Uruha had wanted this to happen. Uruha could believe he'd feel the same way were he in Reita’s place. Trying to keep that in mind, he told his friend, "Why would I leave you? You're my best friend, my most important person. That hasn't changed just because Aoi was an asshole. If anything, it makes me want to stay by you more than I already did. Because I want to be the one you lean on. I want to be the one to protect you, like you've always protected me."

    A tear slipped from Reita's eye, over the bridge of his nose and down his cheek to the pillow. Uruha managed a smile despite how his heart hurt at the sight.

    "I promise, I'll be right here, no matter what."

    "No matter what...?"

    "Through anything. Like I've always been. Like you've always been for me."

    Slowly, Reita nodded. Uruha smiled and ruffled his hair.

    "Let's get you something to eat."

    "Okay."

    "Then, if you want me to stay again tonight, I should head home and get some clothes and my guitar. We can practise together."

    "You'll come back, though?"

    "I'll come back, if you want me to."

    "Yes, please."

    "Then I will. Now, let's eat something."

    He made some miso soup for Reita and drank some for himself. He didn't have much stomach. He made sure Reita finished all of his before he put the dishes in the sink and gathered his bag. His friend was sitting on the sofa, watching him with a look of slight anxiety as he packed up.

    "It's okay, Rei," Uruha said as he pulled his bag onto his shoulder. "I'm just going out to run a few errands and then I'll be back. You'll be okay, but if you need me, or if anything happens, you can call me. Okay?"

    The stress didn't disappear from his tired face, but he gave a small nod.

    "Do you need anything before I go?"

    A pause, and then Reita pushed himself to his feet and approached cautiously. Uruha waited patiently as the blonde edged to him, as his friend wrapped his arms around him and clung to him. Only then did the guitarist return the embrace, holding Reita close.

    "I'm sorry," Reita whispered, clutching him a bit tighter.

    "It's okay." Uruha rubbed his back softly. He was a bit relieved that Reita was seeking some sort of comfort, especially since he had been so isolated lately. He hoped it stayed this way. If the blonde closed off again, Uruha didn't know what he would do. "It's not a problem at all."

    "I'm sorry..."

    He held his friend, letting him apologise for nothing, only saying, "It's okay," until there was quiet, and he felt Reita take a deep breath. Then he asked, "Will you be okay for a couple hours?"

    Reita nodded and pulled back, loosely letting his arms fall from Uruha's sides. Uruha offered him a smile that he himself was afraid to wear.

    "Just rest and play with Keiji and Oscar, okay? I'll be back soon. Remember you can call me if you need anything. And if he shows up, you call me right away and don't answer the door. Promise me."

    "I promise."

    "Good. I'll be back soon."

    Reita followed him to the door, hovering over him as he put on his shoes. Passing through the door, Uruha turned to see Reita standing there, huddled in his hoodie, still looking anxious, and he repeated, "I'll be back soon, I promise."

    Slowly the blonde nodded, not moving, and Uruha, though he felt incredibly guilty, went on his way, resisting the urge to look back again. In his mind's eye, he could see his friend still standing there in the doorway, watching him as he got in his car and drove away. His grip on the steering wheel was tight. He felt stiff and exhausted still.

    It was a bit of relief to get into his own apartment and sink down on the sofa, and allow himself a few minutes to openly grieve what had happened. He couldn't take too long for it, but he could at least let some of it out now that he didn't have to hold himself together for Reita. He leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and just let himself go, sobbing bitterly about what had happened. He tried hard to not think about it, but his mind made the images: Aoi tying Reita down and forcing into him, not giving heed to the blonde's pleads, Reita struggling vainly to try to get away, and then just giving up, and desperately washing himself to try to get the feeling of violation off...

    "Reita, you poor man," he whispered to no one.

    When he'd said Reita was strong, he had meant it. His friend was still more or less going about his life, trying to keep as normal as possible. Uruha would have shut himself away and stayed entirely like Reita was when he was alone. He wouldn't have gone out at all. Even now, Reita wasn't calling him for comfort or to beg him to return. Uruha would have been doing so. At the same time, it made it all the more tragic.

    Finishing his crying, Uruha forced himself to take shaky, deep breaths, to calm and relax himself. He was proud of himself for keeping from crying as much as he really wanted to. He took a few extra breaths before he got up, washed his face, packed a few days of clothes into a bag, got his guitar, and gathered a few other things so that he could stay as long as possible with Reita. Then he left, throwing his luggage into the back of his car, and pulling out of the parking lot. His grief had turned to smouldering rage as he guided his car to a familiar location.

    He pounded on Aoi's door, fists shaking a bit with the repressed anger. If Aoi didn't answer quickly enough, Uruha was ready to kick the door in. Luckily, though, he heard the lock turn, and the door opened. Aoi smiled as he saw Uruha.

    "Hey there, Uru. I wasn't expecting -"

    Uruha's body swung his fist into Aoi's face so hard it sent the elder flying back a few steps. As he stumbled and shouted, "What the hell!?" Uruha was already striking again, slamming Aoi back into the wall. He blindly grabbed Aoi's collar and kept punching, half-blind with rage.

    "You fucker! You fucking bastard! How dare you!? You _bastard!_ "

    Aoi ducked out of the way, and Uruha hissed as his knuckles crunched into the wall. His grip loosened with the pain, and Aoi slipped away, dashing up the stairs. Uruha took off after him, but Aoi reached the kitchen before him and whirled, knife in his hand. Uruha stopped, breathing hard and snarling like an animal.

    "Go close the door," Aoi said, crimson trickling from the corner of his mouth and his nose. "We'll figure this out quietly. Go."

    "Or what?" Uruha demanded, blood still boiling.

    "Please don't make me get you arrested or hurt, Uruha. I don't want that."

    Uruha almost told him to fuck it, but he didn't want to be taken away and leave Reita unprotected. So slowly, he backed away and went down the stairs, closing and locking the front door. He approached the main room cautiously and saw Aoi leaning against the wall between the kitchen and living room, knife still in hand.

    "What the hell was that for?" Aoi asked, his voice forced calm, though his black eyes were glinting through the darkening and swelling wounds. Uruha glared, shaking his aching hand a bit. He was quite proud of managing to damage Aoi that much.

    "You know very well what for," he snapped.

    "Enlighten me."

    "You bastard! You know what for!"

    Aoi raised an eyebrow, looking entirely too cocky for how much Uruha had just beaten his face, and said nothing.

    "Reita!" Uruha half-shouted. "What you did to Reita!"

    "Reita?"

    "Don't you play with me!"

    The other gave him a dumbfounded look now. "What are you talking about?"

    Uruha took a few aggressive steps, but Aoi moved to ready too. Uruha stopped, eyeing the knife, and trying to come up with a way to get around it.

    "What are you talking about?" Aoi repeated.

    "What you fucking did to him in the hotel!"

    "What I... what, the sex?"

    "You raped him!" Uruha did scream fully now. "You fucking raped him!"

    Aoi stared for a few moments. "Is that what he said I did?"

    "Oh, don't even! Don't you dare tell me he wanted it!"

    "He did, though."

    "No, he did not! He would not be afraid of you if that's what it was, Aoi!"

    "Maybe he feels ashamed of it."

    "Don't fucking -"

    "Calm down," Aoi said as he took another step. "Uruha."

    "You know very well you didn't have his okay! You tied him down and you raped him!"

    "He asked to be tied down -"

    "Stop fucking lying to me! You think I'll believe you over him? When he's been crying and not sleeping and not eating, when a fucking _doctor_ took a look at him and confirmed he was raped? Reita wouldn't be acting like this, or in this condition, if it was consensual!"

    "Who knows what he does in his spare time."

    "Fuck you!" Uruha spat, stomach so hot with sickening anger he felt like he could breathe fire. "How dare you fucking rape him and then try to make it sound like he wanted it? You fucking sicko!"

    Aoi gazed at him quietly, not replying for awhile. Uruha glared back, shaking to leap and attack, but he didn't dare when there was a weapon in hand. It infuriated him that he had been able to land a few blows and was now being held back at knifepoint. Aoi deserved to be beaten for what he did!

    "You can think what you want, Uruha," Aoi said slowly. "I didn't rape him."

    "Oh, fuck you! You said you loved him, and when he wasn't interested, you decided you were going to have him anyway, so you pinned him down and put your pathetic excuse for a cock in him to try and get him to submit to you! Why the fuck would you do that to him? He's never done anything to you!"

    "Have you been drinking, Uruha?" the darker man asked seriously. "You're imagining things."

    "You fucking -"

    "Ah ah," Aoi warned, backing towards the kitchen again as Uruha took a few angry steps. "I won't be afraid to throw this, and I have plenty more. Stay back."

    "Why so defensive?"

    "Because I'd like to keep my face."

    "Will you let me crush your balls instead?"

    "There's no reason for this, Uruha. Go home, have some coffee, take a nap. Get the alcohol out of your system, okay? I'll forgive you for this, since you're drunk."

    "I am not drunk!"

    "Reita's been lying to you, I don't know why. Maybe out of guilt or shame. But I didn't do any of those things, Uru."

    Uruha nearly screamed in frustration. He knew Reita wasn't lying. He knew Aoi was.

    "You know what?" Uruha asked after a bit, throat choked with fury. "Reita isn't like you, Aoi. He doesn't give a fuck what people think of his sexuality. If he had sex willingly with you, you know he wouldn't try to hide it. He'd just shrug it off and it wouldn't be a big deal to him. He'd be making jokes about it. Remember how he'll talk about stuff like that, openly, as if it weren't odd at all? So if it was willing, why was he so fucking afraid to tell me? You say he'd feel guilty. You know that's not true. He fucking talked about being naked with me on national radio, Aoi. He said he would date me to everyone in the country. He wouldn't give a shit if he were fucking you. He'd tell me that with no hesitation, as soon as it happened. So you're the one being an idiot. You're the one hiding something."

    Aoi's expression didn't change for awhile. But then, slowly, his mouth twisted into a smirk.

    "Well well. Our cute ditzy Uruha actually made a decent argument."

    "You motherfucker," Uruha hissed.

    "Nah, not motherfucker. Reitafucker."

    "Bastard!"

    "I'm not joking, Uruha," Aoi added as Uruha made a movement. "If I need to defend myself, I will."

    "Why?" the guitarist demanded, blood pounding in his ears. "Why did you do that to him? He's never done anything to hurt you!"

    "Oh, Uru baby, you're so cute. I love Reita, just like I told him. I showed him how much I did."

    "You sick fuck...!"

    "He enjoyed it, though. He got hard. He trembled as I thrust into him, he moaned and arched and came."

    "He didn't enjoy it!"

    "Whatever you need to tell yourself, Uru." Aoi shrugged, crossing his arms but keeping the knife raised. "He got aroused from being tied, you know? I wouldn't have thought. But I guess everyone's got their little kinks."

    "Shut up."

    "Oh, I know why you're here," Aoi said with a wider smirk. "You're jealous, aren't you? Jealous you weren't the first one in his ass."

    "I am not jealous of you raping him!"

    "And you're jealous that now every time he has sex, he'll think of me and whimper at the thought of our passionate night together."

    Uruha was shaking so hard he could hear his body creaking in protest. "If you touch him again, I swear to God -"

    "You'll what? Will you strangle me in the studio, in front of Ruki and Kai and our staff? Will you punch me again? How do you think that's going to end up, Uruha? You'll be taken out of the picture, and there will be no one keeping me from being with Reita again. Actually, I would rather that. I'm so sick of you being between us. So please do strangle me for everyone to see."

    "I hate you so fucking much!"

    "Jealousy is an ugly thing, Uruha. It doesn't suit your pretty face."

    "Don't you dare touch him again. You don't love him. You wouldn't hurt him like this if you did!"

    "Hurt him? I simply told him and then showed him just how... very, very deeply I cared for him."

    "No!"

    "So what would I do, then?" Aoi asked, smirking a bit. "According to you, what would I do if I loved him?"

    "You would do anything but hurt him. You'd protect him. You'd do whatever it took to keep him happy and safe. You'd value his feelings over your own!"

    "Whatever it takes to keep him safe, hm? So what are you willing to do, then?"

    "Beat you to a pulp."

    Aoi laughed, his eyes sparkling cruelly. "That's no sacrifice on your part. And you'll get taken away, I keep telling you."

    "Fine, then I'll kill you."

    "He'll still be alone, and I won't even be there to care for him."

    Uruha couldn't keep himself back anymore. He lunged, already tasting blood. He'd deal with a stab or two, but he had to snap Aoi's neck! They fell to the floor in a struggle; Uruha distantly felt a slight sting, but he ignored it, fighting to keep his hands around Aoi's throat. He saw Aoi underneath him, grabbing at his arms -

    His head and chest slammed into the ground, and he gasped in pain, struggling and fighting against Aoi, who had one of his arms twisted behind him.

    "You fuck!"

    "This looks familiar," Aoi purred, twisting his arm a bit higher. "A different person, but so familiar. A little more filled out, though. There's this." A hand squeezed his thigh, and Uruha kicked, trying to throw him off. "And then this." It gripped his ass tightly.

    "Let go!"

    "You're a little more vocal though. I'm sure your porn screams are delicious, but I'm not interested. I liked his quiet moans and whimpers."

    Uruha had tears of pure wrath stinging his eyes. He growled, "Fine. Rape me. I don't give a fuck."

    "I'm sure you don't, you're a big enough slut. You'd happily spread your legs and let me in. That's why Reita's special, you know? He's loyal."

    "Not to you, you twisted fuck!"

    His face slammed into the floor, and he stifled a yelp of pain.

    "If you really want it, I'll give it to you."

    "I don't want it, but if you're going to do it anyway, do it. I'll hate you more with every second. And I'd rather it be me than him." Uruha could stand it. He knew why it would happen - because he was trying to protect his friend. He wouldn't be frightened and confused. It wouldn't hurt him.

    "Sure thing, baby. You really must not want to see him, just like I told him."

    "This has nothing to do with that."

    "He'll push you away."

    "He won't!"

    "If not out of jealousy that you took me from him -"

    "You sick bastard!"

    "- because his tender heart will feel guilt."

    Uruha stopped. His body froze, but he felt his heart pounding against the floor. "He won't -"

    "No? You don't think that if he knows you came here to try and defend him, and I had my way with you, he would blame himself?"

    "There's no reason for him to." But it was so likely. Reita was that sort of person. He hated being the cause of people's pain and suffering. Uruha had seen how he handled that knowledge before.

    "And think, 'no one should be close to me or they'll get hurt', and distance himself from you? Is that alright with you? After all, love is valuing his feelings over your own, right?"

    "Damn you... go fuck yourself in hell!"

    "Is that a no, then?" Aoi asked.

    The tears of disgust and anger were falling now, and Uruha loathed himself and Aoi even more. "I hate you...!"

    "I'll let you go, Uruha, if you'll leave quietly. I don't want trouble with you."

    "You can have your way with me if you promise you'll never touch him again!"

    "No promise. Especially if he comes asking me."

    "He'll never do that," Uruha hissed.

    "I guess we'll see, won't we?" Aoi slowly released his arm. "Run along home, Uruha. I won't tell Reita you did this, as a favour to you."

    Uruha quickly rolled away before he got up, rubbing his shoulder with a grimace. "Don't touch him again."

    "No promise," Aoi repeated lightly, twirling the knife between his fingers. "I do love him, after all."

    "Fuck you." Uruha felt his shoulder sting, and he checked it to see he had long but shallow cut. The blood had already dried. Nothing serious. He glared at Aoi again, spitting, "You don't love him."

    "I won't argue anymore with you, Uruha. Please leave. I have work to do."

    He growled, but slowly got to his feet, watching Aoi warily. The other guitarist returned the gaze, calm and looking hardly ruffled at all. Straightening up, Uruha said again, "Don't touch him. Leave him alone. He's suffering enough."

    "Good evening, Uruha."

    Uruha spat, but then retreated, watching his back as he went back downstairs to the front door and left. He hurried out to the car and went straight back to Reita's apartment.  He had to make sure his friend was alright. No matter what, he needed to be there at Reita's side, be whatever it was Reita needed to get him through this. He needed to be there to make sure Aoi wouldn't lay even the slightest touch on him again.


	4. Chapter 4

    When his friend answered the door, Uruha smiled with relief to see that he looked like he was fine. Not too much worry or panic was on his face. Strain, yes, but that look like he was almost dead was not present.

    "Hey, I'm back. Sorry about that."

    Reita's eyes were a bit wide, and he asked, "Are you okay?"

    "Yeah, why?"

    "You're... bleeding and bruised..."

    Uruha glanced down and saw the mess he was,  blood gumming the slash on his sleeve and bruises on his collar. "Oh... I um... I fell down the stairs and kind of fell on my face. I'm fine, I promise."

    The blonde stared for a few moments more before he moved back pulled the door further open. Uruha said a silent prayer of thanks and made his way inside. He hoped Reita wouldn't bring it up again - he didn't want his friend to know how he failed and humiliated himself. Managing to kick his shoes off, he got inside and set down his bags and guitar.

    "I should have enough to stay for at least a few days, if you want me that long."

    "I'm sorry..."

    "What for?" Uruha asked, sweeping some of his hair out of his face and turning back to look at his friend. Reita was slouching, his head down and hands deep in his pockets again.

    "Keeping you here."

    "I offered to stay. I want to be here for you. And if you need to get out, we can go to my place every now and then, can't we?"

    Reita nodded slowly.

    "So it's okay, don't worry. Now, what did you do while I was away?" He was in different clothes now, Uruha noted. "Did I miss anything?"

    "No, I just... took the birds into the bath for awhile and then fed them."

    "Good, I'm glad you did. How are you feeling?"

    "Fine."

    He was more talkative now. That was a good thing, Uruha thought. "You look like you're feeling better."

    "A little bit."

    Uruha tilted his head a bit. "Rei?"

    Reita glanced up for a second, then back down. "I was afraid you weren't coming back."

    "I'm sure you're still nervous, right? It's okay. I came back, though, so you know you can trust me. Right?"

    "Okay." He hunched down a bit more, shrinking into his hoodie, as if trying to avoid Uruha's gentle questions. Uruha took a moment to pause and let Reita have some silence before he tried speaking again.

    "Do you need anything?" When the blonde shook his head, he pressed, "Are you sure...?" Reita hesitated, and the guitarist said softly, "Come here."

    Reita resisted, but when Uruha called him again, he approached slowly, already moving his arms to wrap around Uruha before the guitarist even touched him. Uruha held him tight, glad the blonde buried himself against his body. If Reita felt safer with physical contact, Uruha was more than happy to give it to him.

    "It's okay," he murmured, feeling his friend tremble a bit. "It's okay. I'm here."

    "I'm sorry."

    "Don't apologise. Nothing's your fault."

    "I'm sorry..."

    "It's okay, Reita."

    There was a quiet bit just like that, while he held his friend, soothing him, until he felt some of the tension melt out of Reita's body. He kept his arms around the bassist, though, until he felt Reita move to pull back. He gave his friend a comforting smile when the amber eyes turned to him.

    "Anytime, Reita. I'm serious."

    Reita simply nodded again. Uruha patted his back.  

    "Come on, let's practise for awhile."

    He looked uncomfortable after a couple of hours of practise, so Uruha stopped and suggested he take another bath. The blonde shied a bit at it, turning his head.

    "What's wrong?" Uruha asked.

    "I don't want to."

    "Why?"

    He clamped up a bit, and Uruha waited. He had realised if he gave Reita the time, his friend would open up to him. True to expectation, after a few minutes, Reita whispered, "I don't want to be alone."

    "I can come in with you," Uruha offered.

    The blonde's head turned back, amber eyes wide. He asked, his voice hoarse, "You would want to?"

    "I wouldn't suggest it otherwise."

    He hesitated again, but said, "Please."

    "Go ahead, I'll be right there."

    Slowly, Reita pushed himself to his feet, grimacing. Uruha hurried and stood, taking his bass from him.

    "I'll put this away and be in."

    The blonde shuffled away, and Uruha took a few minutes to wipe their instruments down and put them away. He was still stinging with anger at Aoi, and with grief at the entire situation. There was more to it, though. He only wished he could be absolutely honest with Reita, explain why he was so willing to do this, why he didn't think anything of it, why he believed Reita. But Aoi had ruined that. Reita would surely shy away from it, or be afraid of it.

    "Damn you to hell, Aoi," Uruha whispered. "You've ruined everything!"

    When he went to the bathroom, he took off his shirt and jeans and went in wearing just his boxers and tank top. Reita was still showering, and Uruha saw bright red washing down his legs. Uruha bit his lip at the sight, fighting back more overwhelming emotion. Reita was still hurting. It wasn't fair at all. He waited until Reita turned the water off before he asked, "Are you feeling okay?"

    Reita jumped, but then looked at him and replied, "Yeah."

    "Are you bleeding?"

    "A bit. Not... not much."

    "Do you want to go back to the hospital?"

    He shook his head viciously, sending water flying.

    "Okay. That's okay. Go ahead and get in the bath."

    "You'll stay?"

    "I'll sit right by you."

    Reita climbed into the full bath, gingerly sinking in. Uruha sat down at the side, resting his chin on the edge and watching Reita settle down into the water. The blonde let out a long breath that he had apparently been holding in, laying his head back by Uruha's. The brunette asked, "Is that any better?"

    "Yeah."

    "Good."

    "Uru?"

    "Mmhm?"

    "I'm sorry..."

    "It's not your fault, Rei. It's okay. This is what friends are for, right?"

    Reita turned his head a bit, looking at Uruha with those tired, distant eyes. "Most friends wouldn't do this for me."

    "But I will. You're my very best friend, you know that, right? You've done so much for me, and I've always wanted to do it for you. I'm here for you, no matter what."

    "I still hear him telling me you hate me."

    "I'm here. I want to take care of you."

    "Promise?"

    "I promise. I'll tell you however many times you need to hear it."

    Reita gazed at him for a few more moments before he closed his eyes and whispered, "I'm tired."

    "Go to sleep. I'm here." Uruha carefully leaned his head against Reita's, giving just the slightest bit of contact to reassure him someone was there to protect him. "I won't let anything happen to you."

    "Uru..."

    "I'm here. Sleep. You need it."

    "Stay here."

    "I'll be right here when you wake up."

    Reita didn't say anything more, but Uruha watched his expression grow heavy as exhaustion came on and then clear as he fell asleep. The guitarist let out a small sigh, closing his eyes too.

    "It isn't fair." He leaned his head up, pressing his lips ever so softly to Reita's forehead, careful not to wake him. "I wish I could tell you, but I can't now. All I can do is show you I mean it. Show you what it really is."

    He must have dozed off in the quiet too, with only the soft sound of Reita's breathing, the occasional drip of water, and the faint sound of traffic outside. When he woke again, his first sight was Reita's face. In the warmth of the bathroom, he saw through the soft haze of steam, making it seem like he was still asleep. Uruha sighed a bit, closing his eyes again.

    "I want to protect you," he whispered to his sleeping friend. "Can't I do that for you?"

    It wasn't too much later that he felt Reita stirring. He waited, listening to Reita's breath, a small whimper, and then the bassist's whisper. "Uruha...?"

    "I'm here."

    "Please leave.”

    That startled him. He sat up, looking at Reita in confusion. The blonde was staring blankly at the wall opposite, his face expressionless.

    "Rei..."

    "Leave."

    "Are you sure?"

    "Leave me, get out."

    His tone was so wounded that Uruha hesitated. Trying to calm him, he reminded the blonde, "Reita, if you need me, you can tell me -"

    "Leave!"

    "Okay, okay. I'm going."

    He got up and backed out of the bathroom, closing the door. He waited outside to see if Reita would change his mind, but hearing nothing, picked up his clothes and went into the bedroom to change. As he pulled on his shirt, he heard Reita's crying and agonized, angry screams. His heart broke again, and he hugged himself, digging his nails into his upper arms as he fought back the urge to run to him and embrace him, make him feel safe.

    "Reita...!"

    Uruha made himself go out into the living room, where he took the birds out of their cage and let them climb and play all over him. He tried to watch them and distract himself from Reita's voice, but every time he heard a scream, his hands clenched into fists. It seemed a long, long time before he heard the bathroom door open, and the bedroom door close, and longer still until Reita's footfall came out to the living room. Uruha made himself stay in place as Reita limped past the sofa and went out onto the tiny balcony, shutting the glass door behind himself before he sat down and curled up in a tight ball, his arms over his head. Uruha's chest ached again, but he decided to let Reita be for now. His friend knew he was there, and he didn't want to push too much on him.

    He drew a knee up to his chest, resting his chin on it as he watched Reita quietly. Uruha honestly didn't know what else to do, other than to be available. He'd never had to deal with something like this. Some of it was common sense, and he was more than certain that he was doing them correctly. Being available, reassuring Reita, taking him to the doctor... Uruha was sure that he'd done that all right. Was there anything else?

    He pulled his phone out and searched on the internet, looking for anything he could find. To his relief, a lot of them confirmed that what he'd done so far was right. Everything else it advised him to do sounded mostly doable: give him control over his choices, don't push him, help him any way possible, let him know someone was there for him. Uruha put the phone down feeling better. Looking at Reita now, his frame looked more tired and scared than defensive. He went to the balcony door and knocked lightly. Reita jumped, raising his head.

    "Hey," Uruha said softly, opening the door a bit. "Come have some dinner."

    Reita stared at him blankly for a few moments before he slowly and painfully pushed himself to his feet. Uruha pulled the door open for him as he slunk in, head down, looking like a wounded dog. If he had a tail, it certainly would have been between his legs.

    "What do you want?" the guitarist asked, shutting the door and locking it.

    "I don't care," was the quiet, slightly-stiff response.

    "There's some soup left. I'll heat it up for you."

    "Sure."

    "You can lie down for a bit."

    Reita shuffled away, and Uruha went into the kitchen. When he came out with a bowl of soup and one of rice about ten minutes later, he found the blonde lying on the hardwood floor on his side, face to the wall. Keiji and Oscar were climbing on him, chittering and whistling, trying to get him to play. He wasn't moving, though - Uruha could only see his shoulders moving as he breathed.

    "Here," he said, feeling disheartened now and setting the bowls on the coffee table. "Please eat."

    "No."

    "Why not?"

    "I don't want to."He sounded half angry, half on the edge of tears.

    "I know you don't, but you need to. You won't get better if you don't eat, Rei."

    "I'll never get better anyway."

    "You will. It might take awhile, but you will. Don't give up, Rei, you haven't before."

    A hollow, choked laugh was his response. Uruha went and sat by him, gently running a hand through the pale hair. Reita didn't even twitch or stir at his touch, as the guitarist had expected. That hurt him. It made him feel like Reita would just accept more abuse without complaint.

    "Please don't," Uruha told him softly. "I'm here to help. You’re not alone. I'll do everything I can to help. But you can't stop. We'll get you feeling better, I promise."

    Reita sighed, his body trembling a bit. Uruha stayed still, stroking his hair for another few moments before he told the bassist, "Come eat. When you start getting your strength back, you'll feel so much better."

    Slowly, Reita sat up, sending his birds tumbling to the ground. He murmured, "Sorry, boys," and scooped them up, holding them close. Uruha scooted back to the table and got the bowls. Reita accepted them quietly and ate slowly, but finished both of them. Uruha took the bowls and went to wash them and put them in the dishwasher, feeling awkward and unsure what to do. When he came back out, Reita was huddled against the wall with his pets again, his head down.

    "Rei? Can I do anything?"

    He shook his head.

    "Should I turn on a movie?"

    No response. Uruha sighed, frustrated and feeling guilty that he was frustrated. It wasn't Reita's fault, but...

    "He..."

    The whimper made him snap back to attention, but as soon as he looked over, Reita closed off again.

    "Do you want to talk more?" Uruha asked quietly, slowly sitting down just a few paces from his friend. "I'll listen."

    Reita was silent for awhile, stroking his cheeping birds almost mechanically for awhile. Uruha drew his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. Then just as suddenly, the blonde spoke again, his voice a broken whisper.

    "It... wasn't just that night..."

    Uruha almost felt sick. He chose not to speak, because he didn't think he could keep his stomach.

    "In... in the morning t-too... he came into the bathroom and... I just let it happen... I just l-let him..."

    "Reita." Uruha didn't know what else to say, and even that was through clenched teeth.

    He pushed Keiji and Oscar away and curled into a tight ball, covering his head. "I just let him...!"

    Uruha scooted to him and gingerly touched a shoulder. Reita didn't react, so Uruha pulled him close, letting him rest against his chest. He buried his face in the top of Reita's golden head, holding back his tears of anger. No wonder Reita had reacted that way when he'd woken up.

    "It isn't your fault, Reita," he tried.

    "I let him. I let him."

    "No, Reita..."

    "I w-wanted it."

    "No, you didn't. You didn't want it. It isn't your fault."

    "I didn't f-f-fight or push him aw-way."

    "You didn't want it, Rei. You were just scared. You were hurt. It wasn't your fault, Reita." Uruha hated himself more for not killing Aoi or even managing to seriously injure him. He deserved it! "You were in shock."

    Reita whimpered, and it rose into a scream as he covered his head. Uruha held him tightly, trying to ground him and comfort him. The birds were flying away, screeching at the noise.

    "I'm here," he told Reita through his screams. "I'm here, it's okay. You're okay."

    When he quieted, trembling violently, Uruha softly rubbed his back, losing a tear or two into his hair.

    "I'm here."

    "I d-don't want th-this anym-m-more," Reita choked. "I don't w-want it-t...!"

    "I know, Rei, I know. You don't have to. I'm here. You don't have to deal with it alone. I'm here to help you."

    "I don't..."

    He fought to get away, and Uruha resisted for a few moments before he realised that Reita was beginning to heave. He quickly let go, and the blonde scrambled to his feet, bolting down the hall. Uruha heard the bathroom door slam open and then the retching, and he swallowed hard, closing his eyes and trying to fight his own nausea back. A few minutes later, when he didn't hear any more vomiting, he got up, got a glass of water, and went to the bathroom. Reita was almost collapsed, cheek pressed into the seat as he clung to the toilet. Tears were dripping from his nose into the bowl. Uruha set the glass on the sink counter and then crouched down next to Reita, softly running a hand through his hair.

    "Feeling better?"

    Reita groaned.

    "Poor Rei. It's okay." He softly rubbed his friend's back. "Do what you need to do."

    His body jolted, and he turned his head and vomited again. Uruha held his breath, still rubbing his back, and when he finished, Uruha said, "Do you want some water?"

    He nodded, so Uruha handed him the glass. Reita shakingly took a mouthful, spit it back in the toilet, and, after flushing, drank the rest of it slowly. The guitarist took it and asked, "Do you want to lie down?" When Reita nodded again, Uruha set the glass aside and held him, helping ease him to his feet. "Come here. Let's get you to bed."

    Reita was already lean, but his starved frame now was light enough that Uruha was sure he'd be able to lift it like a child. He resisted the urge, though, not wanting to make Reita feel more helpless, and let his friend lean on him as they walked to the bedroom. Reita was still very pale when he crawled into his bed, curling up beneath the covers.

    "Do you want me to stay in here with you?" Uruha asked. When Reita shook his head, he continued, "Okay. I'll stay out on the couch tonight. If you need anything just call. Okay?" No answer, so he said with a soft smile, "Goodnight, Reirei."

    He pulled the door mostly shut and went out into the living room again. The birds had hopped back into their cage, looking for their dinner. Uruha got them their feed and added some vegetables he'd saved from the soup, sitting and watching them quietly.

    "You two are so lucky," he murmured. "You live such simple lives. And it's so easy for you to cheer him up. He loves you. I'm glad he's at least had you."

    It was getting late, but Uruha couldn't sleep. He closed the birds in their cage and got his guitar out again. He stared off for a long time, aimlessly plucking at his instrument, strumming out a few songs. He found himself playing a couple that made him tear up with the situation he was in, and he had to stop and wipe his eyes. It was getting to the early morning when Uruha heard whimpering and muffled screams. He hurried into the bedroom and found Reita buried under the covers, quivering and clutching a pillow that he was screaming into.

    "Hey, hey," Uruha said, going to the bedside and kneeling down. Reita's face was in the pillow, so he couldn't see if the blonde was awake. Uruha gently ran a hand through his hair, and he jumped, but didn't shy away. "Hey, Rei. It's okay. I'm here. It's okay. It was just a nightmare."

    The screams turned to broken sobbing, Reita pulling the covers over his head. Uruha moved his hand to allow it, instead running his fingers over Reita's tense shoulders and back.

    "I'm here. It's okay. It's okay."

    Listening to his friend cry was difficult, and the more it happened, the worse it got for Uruha. He'd thought after this day or so he'd be used to it, but it still brought him close to his edge. He rubbed away some of his own tears before Reita's voice broke. The bassist quieted, shuddering for breath. Carefully, Uruha peeled the covers back to give Reita some fresh air. He was still hiding his face, but Uruha couldn't care about that.

    "Rei, it's okay. I'm here. I'm not going to let anything happen to you, okay? You're safe." He started stroking the blonde hair again. "I'm here."

    "U-Uru?"

    "Yeah, it's me."

    "He r-raped me..."

    "I know. I know, you poor soul."

    "H-he r-r-raped m-me..."

    "Shh, you're okay now."

    One of Reita's hands grabbed his wrist, holding it painfully tightly. "Uru?"

    "It's me."

    "Don't l-let him get m-m-me. P-please."

    "I won't. I'm here, Reita."

    "It-t hurts..."

    "I know." He pulled Reita closer, wrapping his arms around his friend, trying to blanket and protect him from the nightmares. "I won't let him hurt you."

    "Uru, Uru... please..."

    "I'm here. Reita."

    Reita clung to him now, and Uruha could see his eyes were wide open, staring through him. "Uru... Uru...!"

    "Shh, shh. I'm here, it's okay. It's okay, Reita."

    "He ch-choked m-me and r-raped me... he raped m-me again..."

    Uruha could hardly see through the tears of red anger. "I'm here, Reita, it's okay."

    "I don't w-want it anym-more...!"

    "It won't happen again, I promise, Reita. I promise! Come back to me, please." He was scared, and angry, and lost. He didn't know what to do to help him. He probably shouldn't have let his voice fall to begging, but he didn't know what else to do. "Please, Reita, I'm right here."

    "Uruha, please... please, please b-believe m-m-me.... don't h-hate me..."

    "I'm here, I believe you. I don't hate you, Reita, it wasn't your fault. You're safe now. I'm here, I'll protect you. It's okay."

    "Uruha... please...!"

    He buried his face in Reita's shoulder, clutching him just as tightly as his friend was holding him. "I'm here, Reita. I'm here, please wake up."

    It seemed hours before Reita's shaking finally subsided, and the blonde whimpered, "Uru?"

    "I'm here, Rei."

    "God..."

    "Did you have a nightmare?"

    "I was scared..."

    "I know you were. It's okay now. You're safe. You're here with me."

    "I wanted you there..."

    "I know. It's okay."

    Reita was quiet, only whimpering, his grip tightening in Uruha's shirt. The guitarist didn't move, just holding his friend tightly. He was afraid to let go.

    "Uru...?" Reita's voice was so quiet Uruha almost didn't hear it.

    "Yes, Rei?"

    "Don't let go of me. Please."

    "I won't."

    "I don't want him to get me again."

    "I won't let him. I'm here. Do you want me to get in the bed with you?"

    There was a moment of silence, and Uruha could practically feel his friend's internal struggle, but then Reita whispered, "Yes."

    Relief washed over him, and Uruha climbed in, gently pushing Reita aside to make room without letting go. Reita lay limp, letting him do so, but then buried his face in Uruha's chest when the guitarist had settled in. Uruha moved one hand just to stroke the blonde hair, trying to soothe him as he pressed his face into the damp blonde strands.

    "I'm here."

    "You believe me, right?"

    "Of course I do."

    "You don't want to leave me, do you?"

    "No, I don't. I want to be right here."

    A whimper. Uruha struggled for something to say. Finding a memory, he latched onto it, hoping it would help. "Hey... you remember how in the summers we went to the park and stayed out late so we could look at the stars?" Reita nodded into his chest. "And that once we saw a shooting star, and we linked our pinkies together and promised on it we'd stay together always?" Another nod. "I'll never forget it. I've always taken it seriously. You're my very best friend and I've never wanted anyone else to be my best friend. I didn't make that promise because I felt like I had to. I made it because I wanted to be with you always. You remember that night, okay? I still remember the grin on your face when we made that promise. I want to see you smile like that again. I'll be here and help you until you can smile again. Okay?"

    Another whimper. Uruha thought he heard a worded murmur, but when he asked, "Did you say something?" Reita shook his head.

    "Remember, okay? I want to be right here with you. Through thick and thin, like I have been all these years. I'm here for you. I'll hold you all night so you can sleep. No one will get you. It's just me."

    "Promise?"

    "I promise, like I did so long ago. I'll be here."

    "I'm sorry..."

    "It's okay, Rei."

    "I'm so sorry...!"

    "Shh." Uruha tried to comfort him, heart aching at the sound of Reita's cracked, hoarse voice. "It's okay, Rei. Don't worry about it. I'll take care of you. It's okay."

    "Don't leave... don't leave..."

    Uruha quietly repeated his affirmations until Reita's voice faded, and his breathing became easy. He nuzzled the blonde hair softly, feeling some of his own tears soak into the strands.

    "What do I do, Reita...?"


	5. Chapter 5

    Uruha couldn't sleep that night. He dozed off a couple of times only to jerk awake and reassure himself that Reita was in his arms and safe. Could he even stand to leave his friend for anything now? But he would have no choice, unless he simply moved in. He'd be willing to do it, if only Reita would ask him. But he knew Reita wouldn't. Reita hated imposing. He'd grown up trying to do his best to care for others and himself. He didn't know how to accept help. That was why he had gotten so bad. Uruha stroked the flaxen hair and nuzzled it as often as he could, as much to comfort himself as it was to comfort his friend.

    When he could bear to move one arm from around Reita, he managed to get his phone out of his pocket and look for help again. He wanted to do everything he could to help Reita, but he didn't think he could do it himself, especially not if Reita kept doubting him (which he couldn't blame him for). Most of the sites he found suggested therapy, which he was more than certain Reita would resist, but if it would help... he resolved to call and at least make an appointment for Reita and talk to him about it later.

    "Uru...?"

    "Hey," he said, putting the phone down and wrapping the arm back around Reita. "Are you waking up?"

    "I don't want to."

    "Why not?"

    "I can't do it."

    "You can, Rei. I'm here. I'll help you through it, okay?"

    "I can't."

    "Do you want to leave the band?" Uruha asked quietly, the very thought agony. But if Reita couldn't face Aoi, that was the best option. He wasn't ready for that, but he'd do it anyway, for Reita.

    "N-no..."

    "Are you sure? I'll leave with you. I promised, remember? If you need to, we'll do it."

    "No."

    "What do you want to do? You can make it, Reita. It will be easier now that you have me, I promise. I'll help you. Just tell me what you need."

    "I don't want to get up."

    "You can stay in bed today, if you want. You don't have to get up. You can rest for tomorrow."

    Reita nodded silently.

    "Okay? I'll go get some breakfast for you. Do you want anything?"

    "No."

    "I'll find something. Then we'll figure out what to do to help you, okay?"

    "Don't leave!" Reita begged as Uruha started to move. "No!"

    "Okay, okay." Uruha settled back down. "I'm here."

    "Don't leave me."

    "I won't. I'll stay here as long as you want. I just want you to eat sometime today. You're getting thin and I don't want to break you when I hold you."

    "Thin?"

    "You've lost so much weight, Rei."

    "Have I?"

    "Yeah."

    "Okay. I'll eat."

    "You're sure?" Uruha felt uneasy about how calm he had suddenly become.

    "Okay."

    "I'll be right back, then. I'll just get a bowl of cereal for you."

    "Okay."

    Uruha leaned up on one arm, looking down at his friend. Reita's eyes were half-open, staring through him again. Cautiously, Uruha rubbed his shoulder.

    "I'll be back."

    "Kay."

    He eased out of bed, walking backwards out of the room. Reita didn't move at all, so he half-ran to the kitchen, got cereal, and rushed back. Reita still hadn't moved an inch, still was staring through the wall.

    "Hey, eat up," Uruha said, putting the bowl on the bedside table. "Okay?"

    It took a second for a reaction, but then Reita slowly sat up, took the bowl, and ate. Like the night before, when he had been petting Keiji and Oscar, it seemed almost mechanical. His face was blank, eyes dead, gazing at nothing. Uruha watched him nervously, reaching up and tucking some of his long blonde bangs behind an ear. Reita didn't even flinch or seem to notice. When he finished eating, he sat still, holding the bowl loosely in his lap. Gently, Uruha took it from him.

    "Rei? I'm going to go do the dishes. I'll be back in a few minutes."

    No response, none at all. Uruha sighed to himself and went out to the kitchen. He washed everything, feeling exhausted and heavy. He fed the birds and let them out of their cage to play, and then sank down on the couch to call the hospital. When he asked to be put through to the doctor he'd taken Reita to the few days before, he was (thankfully) put through.

    "Doctor? It's Takashima."

    "Ah, Takashima. How is Suzuki?"

    "Better, thanks to you."

    "Is he eating?"

    "A little bit, thankfully. It takes some urging, but he's eaten."

    "Good. If he takes care of his body, it will help him feel much better."

    "I hope so. I'm worried." Uruha felt himself tearing up now, and he swallowed to keep it out of his voice.

    "Not doing very well altogether?"

    "No. I've been looking up things online, trying to see what I can do to help him."

    "I'm sure you've been doing well. You two have always taken good care of each other."

    "I know. I just... I don't know how to help him heal. Emotionally."

    "Has he thought about seeing a therapist?"

    "I don't know if he has, but I think it would help him."

    "I think it would too. If you like, I can write a letter of recommendation to a therapist. I know a good one, she's always taken good care of her clients."

    "Has..." Uruha hesitated to ask, not wanting to offend him. "Has she dealt with men before?"

    "A few. We don't see many male victims, as they don't usually admit to it. But she's helped them and I've heard good things from them."

    "Then, that would be good. If you could. I would appreciate it, and I'm sure he would too."

    "I'll do so. I'm actually leaving soon, but I will write it tonight and have it tomorrow, if either of you to come by and pick it up."

    "Thank you, doctor. I just want to take care of him."

    "I know you do, Takashima. He's lucky to have you. He's much more likely to heal if he does these things and has someone to stand by him."

    Uruha was comforted to hear that. "I'll do my best. Thank you."

    "Tomorrow then. Good day."

    Uruha went back to Reita's room and found him curled up in bed, apparently asleep, so he gave himself permission to take a quick shower and then stay out in the living room, still scrolling through his phone, desperately looking for any help. He'd heard nothing from Reita by noon, and the blonde wouldn't wake when he called or shook him, so he let him keep sleeping, praying desperately that the rest would help him survive the next few days in the studio with Aoi.

    When he went in later carrying a plate of stew and rice, he found Reita awake, sitting against his headboard and staring through the far wall. Uruha knocked on the door softly, but when he didn't receive any recognition, he went in and set the plate in Reita's lap gently.

    "Did you sleep well?"

    Stone silence. Uruha bit his lip, tucking a lock of blonde hair behind Reita's ear again.

    "Reita, can you hear me?"

    At his touch, the blonde stirred and looked up at him with blank eyes. Uruha tried to smile.

    "Hey. You've slept all day. Are you still tired?"

    Not even a blink, but Reita turned back and looked down at the plate of food, slowly picked up the spoon, and began to eat. Uruha sat down beside the bed, watching quietly. He didn't know if he liked the numbness and silence better than the anxiety and crying. At least the other way, Reita would talk to him. He knew what to say and do to help him feel better. With Reita like this, he had no clue.

    When Reita finished, Uruha stood and tried to take the plate, but the blonde held onto it tightly, not yielding. After a moment, Uruha let him have it, seeing his knuckles turning white as he gripped the edges.

    "I'll go clean up after dinner and feed the birds, okay?"

    A slow nod - a response, finally. Uruha left, padding into the kitchen with a sigh. The apartment was silent as he washed everything, putting the extra food away, and took some rice to the birds. He stroked them gently, scratching their heads.

    "Sorry it's been so quiet today, babies."

    A loud crash came from Reita's bedroom, making him jump high and almost smack Oscar into the wall of the cage. He hurriedly shushed the squawking bird and darted to the bedroom. He stopped in the doorframe, seeing Reita on his feet and half-throwing his nightstand across the room with an enraged scream. Uruha wanted to stop him, but something in him said to let it go, so he hung back, watching from the shadows in the hallway as the blonde kicked the shattered fragments of the plate across the room, flung his lamps, flipped his bed over, pulled drawers out of stands and threw them, tearing his room apart while screaming inhumanly. It wasn't until Reita stumbled into a wall and, after a few breaths, slowly slid down it to sit on the floor, covering his head, that Uruha quietly slipped inside and, picking his way through the destruction, went to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

    "It's okay," he murmured, repeating the mantra he was beginning to feel was an absolute lie. But when he said it, this time, Reita leaned against him, though he still didn't look up. Uruha squeezed him and repeated, "It's okay."

    They sat like that in the mess, Uruha quietly reassuring Reita, until the blonde's heavy breathing stopped. Then he whispered, his voice so scratched now it was barely understandable, "I'm sorry."

    Uruha didn't say anything in response, but leaned his head against Reita. Reita dropped his arms onto his knees and buried his face in them.

    "I can't do this."

    "I'm here to help you," the guitarist told him, letting his head stay on Reita's shoulder. "I won't let you give up."

    He expected Reita to ask why, or to argue, but instead, the blonde reached one hand back behind himself, putting it on Uruha's head. Uruha waited, then felt the long fingers twist into his hair and clench tightly.

    "Don't leave."

    "I didn't plan on it."

    "I need you."

    "I'm here." He realised now that Reita's knee and feet were bleeding slightly from the violence, but they didn't seem too serious. He said gently, "Are you okay to shower? You're cut up."

    Reita turned his head a bit, and there was probably two or three minutes of silence before he said, "Okay."

    "Can you?"

    "Yes."

    "Do you want me to put the bed back together?"

    "No."

    "Okay. Go shower."

    "Don't leave."

    "I'll still be here."

    "Don't."

    "I'll be here."

    "Promise."

    "Always."

    Reita sluggishly got to his feet and left, turning into the bathroom. Uruha waited until he heard the water turn on before he started trying to put the room back together. It took a severe amount of effort for him to turn the bed upright again - Reita was stronger than he'd thought. When he was fairly certain he had everything back in place, he got the broom and carefully swept up the shard of ceramic that had once been a plate, searching the room for any more before he threw them away. He locked the birds in their cage for the night, giving them a few extra scratches and pets. Right as he was straightening up, he heard the bathroom door open and Reita's footsteps go into the bedroom.

    "Goodnight," he told the birds, pulling the cover over their cage. When he reached the bedroom, he found Reita lying in bed, curled up tightly. Hesitating a bit, he said, "I thought maybe you'd like to tear it all apart again."

    Reita let out a single weak laugh, turning his face into his pillow.

    "I'm sorry," Uruha added, realising that might have been a bad mood.

    "It's okay."

    "Do you want me to stay on the couch tonight?"

    "No."

    "Okay." He entered the room and shut the door, trying to gauge Reita's mood. With his face hidden it was hard, but Uruha didn't see any anger tensing his body. It looked relaxed, maybe exhausted, maybe just overwhelmed. He quickly changed into sleepwear and then slid into the bed behind his friend.

    "Uru?"

    "Yeah, Rei?" he replied, pulling the sheets up around Reita's shoulders.

    "You'll really stay with me?"

    "I really will. I promised you. I don't intend to break that promise."

    "Thank you."

    "No need to thank me, Rei." Uruha settled down close to Reita's back, tentatively pressing his forehead into one of the bassist's shoulders. "It's my place, right here beside you."

    A sigh made Reita's body slump a bit. Uruha waited before he spoke again.

    "Rei, have you thought about maybe seeing a therapist?"

    Silence, and Uruha felt a bit of tension run through his friend.

    "I know it probably sounds scary," he told Reita, "but I could go with you. I think they'd be able to help you, they're trained to help people with things like this. I just think you need someone to talk to, who can help you through it."

    "I have you."

    "I know you do. And I'm not going to make you do it, Reita," he quickly said, in case Reita thought he was trying to force it. "I just think it might be a good idea. The doctor wrote a letter of recommendation for a therapist for you that we can pick up tomorrow."

    "You think I should?"

    "I wouldn't suggest it if I didn't think it could help you. That's all I want for you."

    Reita turned a bit, but then fell back to his normal position. "I'll think about it."

    "Okay. That's all I'm asking right now."

    "Would you go in there with me?"

    "If they let me. If they won't let me and you don't want to go alone, I won't make you."

    "Okay."

    "Just think about it, for now. I want you to recover and have a normal life again."

    "I'll think about it."

    "Thank you. I miss your smile. I want to see you smile again."

    Reita didn't respond, but a few seconds later, he reached back. Uruha gave him his hand, and Reita held to it tightly, pulling his arm up and around his waist. Uruha allowed himself to move closer and hold Reita tightly, resting his head against the blonde's.

    "I'm here," he murmured. "I'm always here."

    "Even in the studio?"

    "Especially in the studio."

    "Can I stand with you tomorrow?"

    "Absolutely." Uruha was relieved at the suggestion. "You're always welcome to come stand with me."

    Reita didn't respond, but he didn't let go of Uruha's wrist either. The guitarist settled into the quiet, expecting to just fall asleep in the silence. When he did wake up, he found Reita's grip had loosened, but his arm was still keeping Uruha's pressed against him. With a small smile, Uruha found the bassist's hand and squeezed it softly.

    "I'm glad you're sleeping. Sweet dreams."

    He let go of Reita's hand when he felt the bassist stirring, not wanting to upset him. Reita sighed, shifting a bit and digging his head into the pillow.

    "Rei? Are you awake?" When the blonde let out a small noise, he tried, "Did you sleep well?" Reita nodded silently, and relieved, Uruha continued, "Good. Let's get up and get some breakfast."


	6. Chapter 6

    Reita picked at his food at breakfast, not eating much. Uruha tried to urge him, but he guessed he couldn't blame Reita for pushing his plate away and going to work on basically an empty stomach. He felt sick too. Now that he knew what was going on, how was he going to survive? He had already tried to beat Aoi and had failed. He didn't know how he could face that.

    "I'll drive," he said as they were getting on their shoes. "Is that okay?"

    "Yeah."

    "It will be okay," Uruha said, trying to convince himself of it too. "I'll be right there."

    Reita nodded, not saying anything. He was silent all the way to the studio, staring out the window, and hovered behind Uruha on their way in. Uruha paused at the studio door to steady himself before he opened the door.

    "Morning," he said, entering.

    "Morning, Uru," Kai replied cheerfully from where he was adjusting his cymbals. "Rei."

    "Morning." Reita's voice was quiet, but it had the happiness that Uruha now knew was forced and incredibly fake.

    "Did you two have a good weekend?"

    "It was quiet, but it was nice that way."

    "Good morning," came Aoi's voice behind them, and Reita jumped, crashing into Uruha. Uruha barely caught himself as Aoi added, "You're jumpy today, Reita."

    Uruha glared at his guitar partner as Reita shied behind him, but he simply got a charming smile in response. At the very least, Uruha felt a bit of triumph in seeing the bruises on Aoi's face.

    "Not sleeping well?" Aoi asked, crossing the studio to his guitar rack.

    "Aoi, what happened to your face?"

    "Don't worry, Kai chan. I just got in a little fight. I'm okay, though, don't worry."

    "Your face is black and blue!"

    Kai went to Aoi to worry over him. Uruha let out a small sigh - at least Aoi wasn't saying what the fight was - but then he was aware of Reita's gaze. He turned around and saw his friend staring up at him.

    "What is it?"

    "Did... you...?"

    "Shh," he cautioned.

    "You did."

    "I was angry. I wanted to do something for you. I wanted to protect you."

    Reita looked down, turned and went to his basses. Uruha bit his lip, hating himself for making his friend worry. He made himself turn to his guitars and start setting up for practise. He hoped he hadn't made Reita too upset, because then the blonde would be stubborn and keep away, and Uruha didn't know if he could handle the strain of watching from a distance. But he had to let Reita make his choices, and then do the best he could to support and protect him in them.

    He was fiddling with his tuning when out of the corner of his eye he saw his friend approaching. Reita asked, "Is it still okay for me to stand over here?"

    "Of course it is. It always is." Uruha smiled, half in relief. "You're always welcome with me."

    Reita faintly returned the smile, but there was a bit of earnestness in it. Shy, scared earnestness, but earnestness nonetheless. Uruha gently elbowed Reita and told him, "Don't worry."

    "Why didn't you tell me?"

    "I didn't want to make you worry."

    "Don't lie to me again. Please."

    Uruha hesitated, but he understood that Reita needed honesty right now, so he said, "I'll try."

    "Thank you."

    Ruki came in at that moment, greeting everyone with a bright voice but a wide yawn. After he had passed them, Uruha told his blonde friend, "I need to talk to you about some things later. Is that okay? No," he added as worry crossed Reita's face again. "Nothing like that, I promise."

    "Okay."

    "Are you standing over there today, Reita?" Ruki asked, turning away from Aoi to look at them.

    "If that's okay."

    "Sure it is. Siamese twins need to be near each other sometimes, right?"

    Uruha couldn't help but grin, and Reita managed a small smile. Across the room, Uruha saw Aoi's gaze narrow, and he let a bit of a smirk enter his expression. He'd like to see Aoi twist this to fit his sick fantasy. He kept close to Reita, almost cuddling up to the blonde when possible, and Reita returned it, with a shoulder or elbow almost always pressed against Uruha's back. Uruha kept his eye on Aoi, who pointedly ignored them save for a few angry glances here and there.

    Come lunchtime, Uruha made an excuse and took Reita out with him. When they were out of the building on the street, Reita took a deep breath, his shoulders slumping as he exhaled.

    "You okay?" Uruha asked, slowing his pace to stay with his friend's slight limp, which wasn't helped by the strong wind that blustered against them.

    "Yeah."

    "Promise you'll get something to eat. Even just an onigiri."

    "Okay. I will."

    "Can I ask you something?"

    "Sure."

    "When are you going to tell Ru and Kai?"

    Reita stopped, and Uruha had to backtrack a few paces. The amberish eyes stared at him, a bit glassy. Uruha could see the hesitation and fear.

    "I'm not going to do it without your permission unless it's really necessary," he told his friend. "But if they know, they can help."

    "I... I don't know..."

    "Are you scared?" Uruha asked, taking Reita's arm and pulling him to the side of the walk, against a building so they could have a bit more privacy. When Reita nodded, Uruha continued, "I know it must be scary. I know you're afraid they wouldn't believe you, and I won't lie, I'm afraid of that too. But if they don't know, they might keep pushing you and Aoi together, and I don't want that for you. I want everyone that can help you to be able to help you, especially within the band if we're going to stay."

    Reita had started rubbing his arm nervously, looking away, head tilted up slightly as if to look at the dark, stormy sky. Uruha waited a few moments before he tried speaking again.

    "If you don't want to, I won't make you."

    "You won't be angry at me if I don't?"

    "No."

    "Would... if I told them, would you be with me when I did it?"

    "Absolutely. I wouldn't let you do it alone. I'd be there to defend you."

    Slowly, Reita nodded, scratching his arm now.

    "You don't have to decide right away. But I think, for this, the sooner the better. So will you just think about it?"

    "Sure."

    "Okay?"

    Reita nodded. Gently, Uruha took the hand that he was scratching with and pulled it away, not wanting him to hurt himself.

    "I just want you to be okay."

    "I know."

    "As long as you know. Let's go get something to eat."

    Reita fell into step beside him again, his head down. He kept within a few steps of Uruha in the convenience store, seeming almost like a lost puppy. Uruha, though he ached for Reita's pain, couldn't help but smile a bit to himself to know Reita trusted him and relied on him like this.

    "What do you want to eat?" he asked when his friend made no move to get his own food. "Onigiri?"

    "Sure."

    "Do you mind which?"

    "No."

    Uruha chose a couple he knew his friend liked and took them up to the front. Reita parted from him when he reached the counter, shuffling outside. Uruha tried to keep an eye on him as he paid, but was relieved when the blonde instantly reattached to him when he exited the store, pushed a bit against him by a gale of wind.

    "Will you be okay to finish out the day?"  Uruha asked, steadying himself.

    "I think so. He isn't bothering me."

    "I'm glad he isn't. I would punch him in the face again if he did."

    "He hurt you, didn't he?"

    "No, not really. I just got a few scrapes. I got him better than he got me. I don't mind. He hurt you far worse, so I can't even complain."

    Reita was quiet for a few moments, but then Uruha felt Reita's hand touch his as they were reaching the company building, and the bassist said, "Thank you."

    "Anything for you."

    They ate in the studio, no one else around them. Reita sat on the ground, leaning against Uruha's chair as he nibbled at his onigiri. Uruha was glad it was quiet, no disturbances, just the two of them. Reita seemed much more relaxed in it, and he ate everything Uruha had bought for him (though slowly). When they had both finished, Uruha leaned back, closing his eyes for a few moments.

    "Uru?"

    "Hm?"

    "You'll still stay with me, right?"

    "Of course I will. I should probably stop by my apartment and get some more clothes, though."

    "I can sleep, when you're there."

    Uruha looked down at Reita, whose shoulders were stiff again. Gently, he reached down and ran his fingers through the thick blonde hair.

    "I'll stay as long as you want me to."

    "I'm sorry."

    "Don't be."

    The door opened, and Uruha looked up as Ruki came flouncing in. He grinned widely at the sight of Uruha and Reita and chuckled, "Really, it's so cute when you're like that. Are you caressing him, Uruha?"

    "His head is the perfect height for an armrest," Uruha replied, letting his palm rest on the crown of gold hair.

    "I don't mind," Reita said quietly.

    "Are you feeling okay, Rei? You've been looking pale."

    "I'm fine."

    "I'll keep an eye on him, Ru." Uruha felt an almost irresistible urge to ignore Reita's wishes and tell Ruki what was going on. "Promise."

    "I don't think you could not keep an eye on him." Ruki plopped into his seat, still smiling as he said it.

    "True. Where's Aoi?"

    "He and Kai are outside for a smoke. They'll be back in a few minutes."

    Reita started getting to his feet, leaning heavily on Uruha's leg. Uruha hesitated to help - grabbing his belt or ass to give him a boost was surely a terrible idea. Before he could decide on anything to do, Reita had his feet underneath him.

    "I'll be back."

    "You're sure you're okay?" Ruki asked.  His expression changed as he watched Reita stand. "You look like you're sore."

    "Just a bit. I'm fine. Be back in a few."

    "Where are you going?" Uruha followed, a bit worried.

    "Bathroom."

    When he had left and the door was closed, Ruki looked at Uruha and said, his voice conveying a bit of surprise, "You two are close, but I don't usually see you that close."

    "I'm worried about him. He's been so sick," Uruha half-lied. "And he's always taken care of me, so I guess I figure it's my turn if he needs it. I'm protective of him. I don't know if you knew that."

    "Of course I knew," Ruki sighed, rolling his eyes jokingly. "You two should just get married."

    Uruha stared at him blankly. "Huh?"

    "Your face is scary."

    "Whose face is?" Aoi asked, coming inside now.

    "Yours," Ruki replied, redirecting his attack.

    "Ouch."

    "Have you seen yourself in a mirror?"

    "Plenty, thank you. Don't worry, though." Aoi slung his guitar over his shoulder, smiling that aggravating smile at Uruha now. "My superstar face will be back in time for the festival."

    "As long as you stay out of fights," Uruha said with as innocent a smile as he could muster.

    "Well, I'll see what I can do. I don't pick fights."

    The door opened, and Kai and Reita came in. Aoi cheerfully called, "Reita chan, are you going to come over here with me now?"

    "No." The blonde fidgeted as he said it, turning his head.

    "Aww, come on. I miss you, you know? It's so lonely over here without you."

    Uruha struggled to keep his anger off his face. He stood up, gently putting his hand on Reita's back and pushing him towards his bass. Reita didn't respond to Aoi, which Uruha was grateful for. The bassist's starved frame had become incredibly stiff.

    "Let him, Aoi," Ruki said. "It's cute when our Shounan duo are being lovey-dovey with each other."

    "Lovey-dovey," Uruha repeated flatly, seeing Reita seize up a bit.

    "I don't have any other way to put it."

    "Like kitties?" Kai suggested with a wide smile.

    "Oh, I like that one."

    Aoi's eyes had become a bit dangerous. If it didn't make Reita uncomfortable, Uruha would have pushed 'lovey-dovey' just for that. He decided to keep quiet and picked his guitar up.

    "Anyway, let's keep practising so we can get home early today," Kai said, changing the subject. "There's a typhoon coming through."

    "Is there?"

    "It won't be a terrible one, but I'd rather not be driving in it."

    So much for going to get the letter, or to his apartment to get clothes. Uruha sighed, picking at his strings.

    "I'm sorry," Reita whispered behind him.

    "Don't be, it's okay." Uruha turned around to face him, moving so he'd be between Reita and Aoi's sight. "There's tomorrow. I have clothes for one more day."

    "Thank you."

    They could hear the wind beginning to pick up when they finished. Uruha hurried to wipe his guitars down and put them away, trying to keep an eye on Reita across the room. The bassist was huddled over his instruments, shoulders tense. Uruha was finishing up when he heard Aoi ask, "Do you need help, Reirei?"

    He whirled to see Aoi leaning against Reita, arm around his shoulders. The blonde was shying, trying to pull away.

    "No, I'm fine, Aoi."

    "Are you sure?"

    "I'm fine."

    "You want to come over and watch a movie with me? You can stay the night while the typhoon passes."

    Uruha could hardly keep himself from growling. He shoved his guitars into the rack and stalked across the studio. Reita had his head down, seeming to focus on his basses.

    "I'm with Uruha tonight."

    "You can spare a night with me, can't you?"

    "Knock it off, Aoi," Uruha said coolly, pulling his arm off Reita's trembling shoulders and almost throwing it. "He said he's not interested."

    "Calm down," Aoi huffed, his dark eyes narrowing. "I was being friendly."

    "Yeah, well stop it. You ready to go, Reita?"

    "Okay."

    "Play nicely, you two," Kai admonished as he passed by. "Let's go so we can get home before it's too dangerous."

    Uruha snorted, but retreated with Reita to the other side of the studio, where he picked his bag up before he lightly pushed Reita out the door. The blonde was shaking as they climbed into his car, and he clung to his bag, burying his face in it. Uruha wanted to reassure him, but Kai was right - they needed to get home as quickly as possible.  He waited until they hit a red light before he reached over and gently touched Reita's arm.

    "Are you okay?"

    Reita shook his head.

    "I'm here. You're safe. We're going home now, you'll be safe and I'll be there with you."

    He repeated it as often as he could, making sure he touched Reita when he was able to ground him and reassure him someone was there. They were almost back to the apartment before Reita raised his head, his eyes rimmed with red.

    "Rei?" Uruha asked gently, looking over at him.

    "Sorry."

    "It's okay. You're going through a rough time. I'm here for you."

    "Thank you."

    "What do you want for dinner tonight? We still have some stew left over, or I could make something else."

    "Stew is fine."

    "How's your body?"

    "It hurts."

    "Maybe you should take a bath." He said it as gently as he could, not wanting to spark any bad reactions.

    Reita nodded quietly as they pulled in to the parking lot. The wind was getting strong, blowing freezing rain against them. Uruha staggered a bit in it, but he tried to shield Reita as best he could until they made it to the staircase. They were soaked through by the time they got inside, and Reita was shivering as if he'd been swimming in ice water. Uruha took Reita's bag from him and said, "I'll take care of this. Go take a hot bath, okay?"

    "What about you?"

    "I'll take one after you." He knew Reita felt vulnerable in the bathroom, and though his body ached for a hot shower, he could stand to put himself aside. "It's okay, I'll change clothes and wrap up in a blanket."

    "You can come with me. You could shower."

    "It's okay, Rei."

    "Please."

    Uruha stopped and looked at him for a moment before he said, "If that's what you want, Rei."

    The blonde nodded, glancing at him tentatively. Uruha offered him a smile.

    "Go fill the bath, I'll be right in."

    Reita disappeared down the hallway. Uruha took a few minutes to clear out their bags to let things dry and comfort the nervous birds before he went in to join his friend. The bath was still filling, and Reita was showering off. Uruha struggled out of his wet clothes, knocking lightly on the door. Reita jumped and looked over his shoulder.

    "Sorry. I'm here."

    Reita nodded and moved to the tub, climbing in and sinking down. Uruha took his spot in the shower, hissing as the hot water hit him, then melting into the warmth. Feeling it sweep through his hair, washing all the chill from him, made him let out a sigh of contentment.

    "Uru?"

    "Yeah, Rei?"

    "I'm sorry."

    "It's okay, Rei. You don't need to apologise for anything." Uruha looked over at Reita, who was curled up in the bath. "I told you, I'm here for you. I don't mind at all. In fact, I want to be here with you. I couldn't just sit at home and worry about you."

    A weak, exhausted smile, the first full one Uruha had seen yet, and it stopped his heart. Reita whispered, "You are my best friend."

    "You're mine too." Reita had smiled. It wasn't a joyful one, but it wasn't forced. It was a volitional one, and that was all Uruha could have asked for. "I've told you over and over. You're the most important person in the world to me. I want to be here with you. So don't apologise, okay?"

    "Thank you."

    "Not at all." Uruha gave him a relieved smile in return. "I'm happy to be here for you."

    Reita stayed in the bath for awhile after Uruha left, so the guitarist went around to clean up a bit. Both he and Reita weren't nearly as clean as Ruki was, but Uruha felt that a tidy apartment would help Reita feel better. The birds followed him around, chirping and whistling happily. He had just put them back on their cage to play when Reita came out into the living room, wrapped in a thick blanket.

    "Good bath?" Uruha asked as Reita lay down on the sofa.

    The blonde hummed a response, amber eyes stared out the windows at the rain pounding on the glass. "It was good."

    "I'll reheat something for you to eat."

    "Thank you."

    "Do you want to turn on a movie or something?"

    "No. I'll watch the rain."

    He was quiet, so Uruha tried to keep himself quiet as well. He sat on the floor next to Reita as they ate, gazing out the window with his friend. He had to admit there was something healing about just listening to the sound of the rain and watching it beat against the glass. He left Reita to clean up, and when he returned, he found the blonde asleep, head leaning against the arm of the couch. Uruha sighed, but he was relieved to see a clear expression on his friend's face. He remembered what Reita had said to him, that he could sleep when Uruha was there.

    "Sleep," Uruha murmured, stroking some of the golden hair softly. "You need it. Let your body and mind heal."

    He was getting ready to go to sleep himself when he heard Reita start whimpering. He hurried out to the sofa and found his friend shaking in his blanket, which was pulled over his head. Uruha said as he sat down, "Rei, it's okay. Can you hear me?"

    Louder whimpering, sounding almost like he was in pain.

    "Reita, you're just having a nightmare. Okay? You're with me in your apartment. You're okay. You're safe."

    "Don't..."

    "Reita, it's okay."

    "Uru..."

    "I'm here." Tentatively, he touched what he thought was Reita's shoulder. "I'm here, Reita."

    "Aoi...!"

    "I'm here, Rei."

    His shaking increased, and he was gasping for breath. Uruha tried to pull the blanket back, but Reita only grabbed tighter. Uruha hugged his friend tightly, trying to hold him and comfort him with the closeness, all while repeating himself. "It's okay. I'm here. It's just a nightmare, Reita. You're safe here. I'm with you." It seemed to go on for hours, Reita's voice steadily getting louder and harsher until he was almost screaming.

    "Stop! Aoi!"

    "Reita, you're safe."

    And suddenly he broke, sobbing. Uruha held him closer, closing his eyes tightly to hold back the tears that wanted to come. He had to be strong, no matter what. He had to be, for his friend.

    "Reita, I'm here."

    His body was still tense, still heaving for breath as he cried. The guitarist pressed his cheek into Reita's arm, his tears escaping his control and soaking into the blanket.

    "I'm here, Rei. You're safe. I have you. You're safe now."

    It was another eternity before the crying stopped, and all that was left was the pained breathing and violent shaking. Then, gently, Uruha managed to uncover his friend's head, pulling the blonde hair aside from the wet, bloodshot eyes.

    "I'm here," he repeated quietly, stroking his friend's hair. "You're safe."

    "Uru...?"

    "Right."

    "Uruha...?"

    "I'm here."

    He let out a whimper and buried his face in the blanket. Uruha squeezed him tightly.

    "I'm here. I won't let you go. You're safe."

    "No I'm not."

    "I won't let him hurt you again."

    "He is hurting me again... over and over... it never stops..."

    "Rei -"

    "You aren't helping me!"

    Uruha felt a sharp sting, and he fell back, mind a bit blank with shock. Reita hid back under the blanket again, only a few locks of flaxen hair falling out. Tremblingly, Uruha touched the spot Reita had hit him, flinching a bit.

    "Rei..."

    "You can't do anything to help me! You're doing nothing!"

    "I'm sorry, Reita."

    "He rapes me over and over and you do nothing!"

    Uruha wanted to cry, he was so upset and frustrated. He wished he could do something to make the nightmares and flashbacks stop! "I'm so sorry."

    "You probably want to rape me too, don't you?"

    "Rei, no."

    "That's why you're doing all this. To get in bed and fuck me!"

    "No! Reita, I don't want that!" Uruha was hurt by it, even if he knew Reita probably didn't mean it. He forced himself to speak softer. "Reita, I don't. I'm here because I want to help you -"

    "Fuck off!"

    "Reita -"

    "Fuck off! I don't need you! I don't need anyone!"

    He chewed on his lip, trying to make a decision. Reita screamed just a few seconds later, " _Get out!_ " and Uruha quickly got to his feet.

    "Okay, Rei. If that's what you want." He didn't like it, but it didn't mean he couldn't stay nearby. He couldn't go far anyway, with the typhoon raging outside. "I'll get my stuff and go."

    Uruha went to the bedroom, packing everything into his bag. He paused, thinking about his wet clothes hanging in the bathroom, but decided to leave them. He emerged into the living room and, as he passed the sofa to the genkan, said, "If you need me, all you have to do is call and I'll be right over. Remember that, okay?"

    Reita didn't respond to that, but once Uruha had leaned over to tie his shoes, he heard his friend whimper, "Don't go."

    "Rei?"

    "Don't... don't go..."

    "Do you want me to stay?"

    "Don't leave me alone. Please."

    Slowly, Uruha slipped off his shoes and backtracked to the sofa. "Rei, are you sure?"

    "Don't go, don't... I don't want to be alone... I'm sorry...!"

    "Hey." Uruha leaned over and pulled the blanket off Reita's head so he could see his friend's tearstreaked face. "I told you, you don't have to apologise. You're scared. I get it. I'm here."

    "Please stay."

    "If you want me to stay, I'll stay."

    "Please."

    "Okay."

    "I'm scared..."

    "I know you are." Uruha had to bite his tongue hard to keep himself from saying anything unnecessary. "I know you are, Reita. That's why I want to be here for you."

    A nervous, high-pitched laugh that didn't change anything about his shaken expression. "I'm scared of fucking nightmares."

    "You have a right to be. Aoi did something horrible to you. I don't blame you for having nightmares, Reita. It isn't your fault. None of it was." Gently, he wiped a tear that was trying to cross Reita's nose. "I want you to feel safe. Is there something that keeps you feeling safe, here?"

    "Bed."

    "Let's go get you in bed, then. You can hide under the covers."

    It took a bit of urging to get Reita up and into his room. He stayed wrapped in his blanket as he crawled under his covers, pulling them tight around his shoulders. Uruha rubbed his back softly.

    "There you go."

    "I..."

    "Hm?"

    "I need you too, to feel safe. I need you."

    Uruha leaned over, pressing his forehead to Reita's lightly and looking into his eyes. "I'll be back in just a second, then. I'll go lock up."

    He hurried to finish everything up, afraid for Reita to have another panic attack. He closed the bedroom door, locked them in, and then climbed into the bed.

    "I'm here."

    "Thank you."

    One of Reita's hands was clenched on the mattress, still shaking a bit. Uruha gently put one of his over it, and he felt it slowly relax under his touch.

    "I'm here."

    "Will you hold me?"

    Uruha moved a bit closer and wrapped an arm around his friend. "There."

    "With you close, I sleep better."

    "Good. I'll be here until morning."

    He had been sleeping, but Uruha supposed that it was because of the panic attack that Reita seemed exhausted. He pulled his friend a bit closer, keeping him as wrapped in the blankets as he could.

    "Protecting you, just like I promised."


End file.
